» Crappy relationships

The Wedding Dress Psycho
Sadly, the main story here is not one I've suffered but of a co-worker who seems to get all the psychos and stupidly tells everyone about them. We'll call him Mark.

Mark had broken up with his ex, and after getting police involved after she ran off with the keys and mortgage documents he was finally a happy single man.
So off Mark went and seemed to find himself a nice lady called Helen who from the offset was reported as being quite the normal kind of girl you'd expect, and even better that she was happy to suck face at the cinema.

However, as these things do when you seem to have a sign saying 'Psychos Apply Within' above you, things started getting interesting. By interesting, I mean her going into psychotic stalker mode.
At barely 4 weeks she was suddenly declaring that she loved him, but not only that but she would text and call him constantly and never leave him alone. So much that she'd often just pull up outside his house and watch to see what he was doing or invite all her mates round at a whim on a night out to get pissed and sleep over.
So the stalking continued, with him starting to lie about where he is and just trying to get some distance and get away until it seemed to peak one night in a text message declaring her love.
She then admits to Mark that she has a wedding dress. Now if this wasn't scary enough for about 4 weeks, she then tells Mark in the same txt that she also got it out of the cupboard and lost it. Lets be clear - she got (we assume) a big white dress out of her cupboard in her house or flat and it suddenly disappeared. Gone. No where to be seen. Not something you can normally misplace, like car keys and things. But a bloody wedding dress.

Summing up what he'd just been told, Mark decided the best thing to do was get the hell out of his house shortly after advising her she needs professional help. The problem was that she was sitting right outside his front door he was feeling a bit trapped. So after carefully retrieving his shoes from the landing where she could have caught a glimpse. He then proceeded to climb out a back window on the 1st floor, hang from the ledge while closing the window (he didn't want to give her any chance to get in) and then drop to the ground below and make his way to the pub unseen for food, pint and footy relief.

On getting back and reading the barrage of messages she had sent, she was desperate to get into his house and to be with him so she used the old 'forgot my... whatever' scam I'm sure we've all heard before. However, due to it being a rough area and Mark having CCTV at his house, he caught her in full colour dropping her 'lost' necklace through his kitchen window that had the slim top bit left open. Realising he wasn't going to come back, even with her offering lifts to wherever he was (I believe he said at his parents at the other end of the country!), she is then revealed to have tried using a long handled brush to get it back but fails miserably and causes a massive mess.

After all this, it took a call to Mark’s friend who was a copper, who was happy to go around give her the mean looks and stern words enough for her to stop completely and Mark has not heard from her since. However, we will never forget that wedding dress, and how it was taken out of her cupboard and lost forever....

First post, apologies for length!
(Fri 22nd Oct 2010, 19:50, More)