b3ta.com user Symball
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Profile for Symball:
Profile Info:

I'm a mad scientist from berkshire. - I got moved to a desk near my boss so I haven't been able to make anything recently but I'm getting tatyslop at home soon so I will be back bigger and better soon. The silly photo has been deleted as my msn group disapeared and I can't be bothered to re-upload it.

one of my many e-mails is phantomphlanphlinger AT h0tm41l d0t c0m but 4rthur me if you need to get in contact urgently

Recent front page messages:

Afore I go
There weren't many ants in the arctic

(Fri 24th Jan 2003, 17:03, More)

more shopped cats
This one is scary enough but I thought I ought to do something

(Wed 15th Jan 2003, 15:55, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Unexpected Nudity

Just a quick one- with a royal flavour
a story from a friend who worked on the queens flight (her maj's personal airline).

Apparently all of the toilets on the planes of the queens flight were suddenly fitted with a curtain in front of the door, after an incident during turbulence when all of the flight crew were treated to a view of the queen on her throne asthe door burst open.
(Mon 1st Jun 2009, 17:13, More)

» Tramps

having worked in an offie in reading there are plenty of tales
but too long to post now- fifth?

Edit- third- not bad!

Tale 1

While working in reading town centre on a reading festival weekend, the evening was pretty quiet- festie types were all at the site, and the rest of reading were avoiding the town like it was full of zombies (having seen the festie crowd- I can understand that veiwpoint!).

as we had nothing to do we were in front of the store having a fag and watching the tumbleweeds blow past when we noticed a tramp who had been weaving along in the distance stop suddenly. before we could say or do anything he pulled his trousers down squatted and had a big shit- in the middle of what was (pre- oracle) the busiest shopping street in reading.

the funniest part was when my female colleague squealed "I can see his willy- and it's huge!"

No Tracey- that wasn't his willy you could see dangling down- willies don't drop off!

length- 18" of brown curler- he must have been pretty desperate to drop that one off!
(Thu 2nd Jul 2009, 15:49, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

I'm a scientist
and all thse women with their hair in a bun and glasses- they dont look any better when they take them off!

edit- too many words dammit
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 11:05, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

in my first year at university there was one guy who always managed to be late, even moving from one room to another. As I did a biochemistry degree we did all sorts of funny experiments- one of them involved staining bacteria so you could identify the type. During the safety lecture at the beginning we were all informed to use gloves at all times as one of the stains (gramm stain) binds irreversably to eukaryotic cells (which includes humans). there is nothing you can to remove it other than wait for weeks while the skin cells slowly wear off.

Suffice it to say that my friend comes in after the speech and starts to throw this stuff around with a wild abandon getting it all over his hands. to top it all off when he was told about the stain he looked suitably shocked and did a very good impression of edouard munch's 'the scream' like this!

three weeks of having to walk around campus with blue cheeks and smurf was born!
(Wed 24th May 2006, 16:23, More)

» Body Mods

not a story
but a good example of taking it too far- NSFW
(repost from main board)
(Fri 1st Dec 2006, 17:03, More)
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