» I'm glad nobody saw me

Woo Woo!
So, I was 10 years and getting curious about my ever changing body. One day after having a bath I was stood naked in front of my bedroom mirror and my curiosity turned its attention to my bum hole. Being much more flexible back in those days I managed to contort myself into a position whereby I was stood, bent over double with my head between my legs examining my starfish in the mirror. At the very moment I parted my arse cheeks to get a more in depth look I heard a very loud and very appreciative, “WOO WOO!!!” shout coming from behind me.

I was horrified to realise that someone had entered my room without knocking and had now caught me in this very compromising position with no excuse ready. I sprang bolt upright, face flushed from embarrassment and heart pounding with fear as I scanned the room for my brother (embarrassing, but could laugh it off), my sister (mortifying as she would laugh it off with her friends), or my mother (Please God, just don’t do THAT to me) and there was no one to be seen. I quickly identified the source of the excitable “WOO WOO!!!” noise. It was actually my tape player jauntily playing the intro to Bad Boys by Wham! My cassette player was doing that thing where one side finishes and the tape trundles on silently to the end and then reverses sides and starts playing the other side automatically.

I laughed so hard that my brother actually came in to see what was going on and stupidly I recounted the whole lurid affair just utterly relieved that no one had actually caught me in the act. He still teases me relentlessly to this day for listening to Wham!
(Fri 28th Jan 2011, 16:37, More)

» Crappy relationships

I knew the magic had gone when
she threw the content of her drink in my face and then threw the empty glass at my head.

After she had stormed off a guy in the bar asked me, "What did you do!?", so I told him, "I went out with her for 2 years."

That usually does it.
(Mon 25th Oct 2010, 14:01, More)