b3ta.com user Roonerspism
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» First rude thing I ever saw

First discovered it when I first had a godawful little TV monitor in my room aged about 11/12, sound on mute as my parents didn't want me watching it past a certain time (which if anything only served to make it more surreal; all the garish colours, nudity and Antoine De Caune's bemused face coming together to confuse the hell out of me).

Floppy willies and comedy-sized funbags ahoy (Lolo Ferrari RIP) I don't think I've ever actually seen a full episode with the sound on to this day - although I think that would shatter the illusion of one of the oddest television programmes I have ever seen.
(Sat 13th Aug 2011, 12:38, More)

» Home Science

*prepares for week of stories explaining how half the site are efficient at making bombs*

*bides time until the next week*
(Fri 10th Aug 2012, 1:40, More)

» Greed

Naturally, game shows are designed to test people's greed...
But Goldenballs, fronted by that manic, comically stunted bell-end Jasper Carrot extracts the urine to an obscene degree.
I can understand the initial rounds of people wanting to stay in the competition and lying about their balls (titter ye not) to boost their chances of a windfall.
And the final round, despite having more of a team ethic than is particularly necessary for a game of luck, I can see where the excitement comes from, fair play.
However, the culmination of this character assassination is giving the two remaining contestants the chance to split 50/50 or steal the lot, an all-or-nothing.
The message of this seems to be 'if you're manipulative enough to get a stranger to trust you over the course of an hour, rip them off in the end and all shall be yours'.
Which is so effortlessly blatant, it makes me wonder if the bosses of ITV were adopting a 'do what you like' policy when having shows pitched to them.
After all, the reaction of any normal, functioning human would be to get creative with a rubber mallet when given the option of Katie Price's 'real life'.
(Thu 14th Apr 2011, 17:20, More)