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Best Chemistry Lesson Ever
Best Chemistry Lesson Ever

Our chemistry teacher, likened to a certain German dictator from the 20th century, once provided me with the best lesson at school ever.

In the days when you could conduct experiments with proper chemicals and without safety gear, and setting alight your fellow pupils did not result in a lawsuit, our class gathered for an hour’s lesson where our teacher was to demonstrate example of exothermic reactions. So a few pops and bangs might have been expected. We all sat on the curved benches set in front of the main desk – no safety glass – and the closest were only three feet from the action.

Experiment 1. Just for starters – to show a reaction using iodine solution. Teacher had to draw the iodine up into a teat pipette. Teat pipette had hole at top – teacher got iodine solution burning his hand. ‘Cripes!’ and other non abusive exclamations came forth as he hopped about with hand under the tap. Well that was fun we thought as self inflicted pain on a not so popular teacher provided us with mild amusement.

Experiment 2. A bit more adventurous stuff here. Teacher dons overalls, rubber gloves and a full-face visor to demonstrate the exothermic effect of pouring an acid onto some other material. Class wide eyed and excited – but unlike teacher, with no protection. Could we witness something more dramatic?

Crackle, loud bang and puff of smoke as the chemicals did what they were meant to. But the real focus of attention was teacher jumping about in pain clutching his ear shouting ‘Crikey!’ His ear being the only part of his body exposed – thus the hot acid had only one course of direction and hit his lug. This was good, and we didn’t hold back on the laughter.

After the clear up and class settling down, we moved on. Surely it couldn’t get any better than this.

Experiment 3. Theory. Take a small bit of sodium metal and drop it into a tank of water. If you don’t know what happens, it will immediately react with water, violently give of hydrogen, which will ignite with a few sparks & flame. Result – mild entertainment for a few seconds, as the amount of sodium used is always small and the tank of water has a lid avoiding anything flying out. Well that is what should happen.

Experiment 3. Actual. In our experiment, teacher forgot that he can’t teach and think at the same time. Whilst ensuring the class were taught the theory, he tried to carry out the practical experiment simultaneously:
Step one – take the jar of sodium metal with protective oil to stop the sodium reacting with air.
Step two – carefully drain all the oil out of the jar, leaving just the sodium metal inside.
Step three – walk over to the built-in tap & sink at the side of the desk.
Step four – fill the jar with water from the tap.
Step five – momentarily realise you have done the most dangerous thing ever in your entire life and there is nothing you can do to reverse it.
Step six – decide what best to do next.
Step seven – decide dropping the jar in the sink is the best action – a sink now full of water.
Step eight – stand back, watch the pyrotechnic effect you have caused and issue the most profound expletives you can think of.

Result – exploding sink; hot burning sodium flying everywhere; thick white smoke engulfing the room; screaming pupils scrambling over the benches and each other to get to the back of the room; muffled ‘Cripes’, ‘crikeys’ and ‘cor blimeys’.
Even teacher’s use of the CO2 fire extinguisher had no effect as the reaction continued for about three minutes.

And when it was over and the smoke had cleared, teacher realised nothing much else could be taught that day. So announced end of lesson, collect books and go. So we did, and most went with evidence to prove that they were not making up a story about the last hour – we all had holes burnt through our jotters on the pages where we had written ‘Exothermic Reactions.’

Now that was the best chemistry lesson ever.
(Tue 22nd Mar 2011, 21:33, More)