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» Bedroom Disasters

The Pink Ages
First Post. After graduating University I still lived with my parents, who owing to financial circumstances I was no doubt contributing to - decided to move houses. I had never seen the place before the day I arrived and found the whole process a mix of excitement and heartbreak. Oh, and utter horror. You see... I was moving into a room that was very clearly previously occupied by a little girl and what followed remains the most emasculating night of my life. Worse than any drunken/medicated sexual failing I've experienced and as such I consider this to be a bedroom disaster.

The creme carpet, cratered by the legs of tiny dressers was in a peculiar way, haunting though it was the walls that were a masterpiece (or so I thought) that could only have been designed by a mind twisted by barbie dolls and ponies, for they weren't only painted a dark pink, but the must have been mixed with a golden glitter through some unheard of alchemical process before being rolled onto every possible surface. A detail that only became obvious in the pale moonlight, granting the rooms occupant with the feeling of resting within the moist mouth of a giant animal.

Something else that appeared in the absence of light was an entire universe of glow in the dark stars spanning the entire ceiling. Initially, I marvelled at the sight, briefly losing myself in the awesome infinity of the cosmos. My complaints about this room were silly, insignificant and was of no real pro... Wait a minute, I thought to myself as I re-focused my vision. They're glow in the dark hearts. An entire galaxy of glow in the dark hearts. Pulling the duvet over my head, allowing only my mouth to poke out of a hole I had left so I could breathe, I cried slightly and fell asleep. It would be over a year before I painted the walls, though I destroyed the heart galaxy over the next few days, at one point ensuring a giant glow in the dark cock shape adorned my ceiling.

During what I refer to as 'The Pink Ages' I also distinctly recall having a lady friend over for some fun, stripping her of her outer layers to reveal Disney themed underwear. The frenzy that this elicited evoked a small amount of personal concern afterwards.
(Wed 29th Jun 2011, 10:52, More)