» Nights Out Gone Wrong

A messy night in Manchester, 1997
One of my first nights out in Manchester whilst I was at Uni was to the infamous "The Venue" club on a Wednesday night. £4.50 to get in, and 50p a drink all night. Bargain.

As a new little fresher from down south, I heard the words of my dad ringing in my ears not to spend all of my student loan on going out, so sensibly popped £20 in to my wallet, took out my cash card and left it at home. A quick bus into town, a night of lots of cheap beers with shot chasers and a few hours later a cab back with everyone else. Spirits were high, as I staggered up to the door and looked for my keys.

That I'd left in my coat pocket, in the club, in the centre of town. Arse.

I jump back into a cab, get to town, pay the cab, get my coat, check my keys are there and head back out on to the street. Root around in my pocket to find some money for a cab back home and only find a single gleaming nugget. Double Arse! By this point it was raining, about 2:30am and the combined effects of the shots and the beers in my stomach had fully taken hold.

Being fairly new in Manchester, I didn't know where I was, or how to get home. Thankfully the council had decided to put up several large maps around the city, with helpful "You are here" dots on them. The only problem was I was now so inebriated I could barely read them, let alone try and work out the way home. Eventually I ended up heading in approximately the right direction and staggered back home to Salford. Yes, Salford. Not somewhere for a posh southerner to be walking to in the middle of the night, very obviously the worse for wear.

After what seemed like ages, I finally found my way to the Uni, swayed through it, out the other side and on the final leg back to the student residences. Knowing where I was, meant that the beer taxi was now in full flow, I was striding along at a fair pace. Fate, however, decided to put a lamp post in my way, and *CLANG* I walked straight into it. This hurts lots. Even when drunk. It also sprung my glasses off my face, and into the gutter.

I'm glad no one saw me, writhing in pain, virtually blind, trying to find my glasses in the gutter, soaked to the skin that night, but they would have had a darn good laugh at my expense. I think I finally got in at about 4:30am.

Still - a number of useful life lessons learnt - keep your cards, keys and wallet on you at all times, and lamp posts are immoveable objects.
(Tue 29th Mar 2011, 12:50, More)