b3ta.com user szmytke
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» Performance

Only from behind
I work for my local newspaper in the less fashionable end of the Western Spiral Arm of the Galaxy (aka North-east Scotland) and having both First Minister "King" Alex Salmond I, Donald Trumps new playground golf course, large agricultural centres (more cows than sheep before the comments start), that village thats in Local Hero and assorted other Tartan tourist traps, the back of my head makes a fairly regular appearance on TV news when the one film camera that the BBC allow outside of Glasgow, or indeed the single one that is owned by STV (and I am not making that up) make it this far North.
My family have gotten adept at picking me out
(Wed 24th Aug 2011, 14:57, More)

» Celebrity Encounters III

Celeb spotting
Pissed in the toilets in Kings Cross station standing in between Dara OBrien and Rhod Gilbert at the urinals.
Shaken hands with Gorbachev during a visit to Aberdeen.

Capped by a mate who is now a top TV producer who threw up all over Julie Walters on the underground when he was a student 20+ years ago.
(Thu 5th Dec 2013, 16:56, More)

» Annoying Partners

For 18 years has been making an irritating noise with her tongue against her cheek, aking to a creaking ship in a storm.
Does it even more when shes stressed, usually when told to shut the f**& up and stop it.
So sensitive to it now I can hear her doing it through 2 closed doors.
Also totally phobic about feet which causes its own hilarity.
(Sun 7th Aug 2011, 1:22, More)

» Irrational Hatred

A certain age of driver here in the North of Scotland who indicate right and then left when actually travelling ahead at a round-about.
Thats not the way we were taught it (as an older learner driver I passed my test 5 years ago).

The use of "like" as a in "I was like, whatever" "She was like shut your face" "He was like, smack him one".
Its a comparison, so not actually then
(Tue 5th Apr 2011, 14:12, More)