» World of Random

b3ta virgin...be nice please
Picture the scene; Reading music festival, 2004, I think, 2 or 3 days in, around one of the main campsite areas.

The toilet facilities at these events are the stuff of nightmares, truly something to avoid if you have the choice.

Now, after several days of bad burgers, excessive alcohol and energetic entertainments one could no longer avoid the plague pits. The time had come to venture forth and experience, the terror.
Now I dare say what I found barely needs explaining, i'm sure most of you can imagine. What I wasn't expecting was this.

Two big boot marks, either side of Turd Mountain, made where some dirty wretch had climbed up to the top of the cubicle and written, with his Mark 1 Index Finger, 'Maybe it's because i'm a Londoner'. He then signed his scatological graffiti with a full palm hand print.

Christ only knows how this chap went about getting the remnants from his hands, because there were no basins...
(Thu 21st Apr 2011, 22:32, More)

» Conspicuous Consumption

Kuwait
Myself and two other very off duty sailors.
One stereotypical Australian Expat.
An impressively large Hubbly Bubbly pipe and pile of various tasty tobaccos.
Ludicrous quantities of illegal spirits and re-brewed Budweiser NA.
A glorious sunset from a private balcony, looking over his private beach.

One of the nicest guys I have ever met. No idea what his name was mind you...
(Thu 28th Jul 2011, 23:03, More)