b3ta.com user kohoutec
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Hello. That is all, unless by any chance you have Tranzaphobia by Mega City Four on MP3, in which case please can I have a copy?

Recent front page messages:


(Mon 9th Jun 2003, 23:22, More)

Give us a kiss

(Sun 25th May 2003, 11:58, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Festivals

Glastonbury, early 90s
We arrived without any herbal refreshments, so went off to purchase some from all the friendly people who used to frequent the bridges (Yeah I know...we were young).

My friend buys a lump of some indeterminable substance and we walk on. He is a few steps in front of me, and to test his new purchase burns a bit and shoves it up his nose for the good old smell test.

Unbenown to him, behind him is a copper on a horse. The horse decides to nuzzle his shoulder, and my friend turns around thinking its me, still trying to get a good sniff of his herbals, looks up, sees a horse staring at him, looks up a bit further, sees a copper staring at him. Looks at me, by this time I'm nearly dieing with laughter, especially when I see the look on my poor friends face.

Luckily the copper wasn't bothered about the lump of dope protuding from my friends left nostril (probably because it was an oxo cube or something similar).

I will never forgot it.
(Thu 4th Jun 2009, 19:05, More)

» When animals attack...

Stepped on a wasp at the beach once when I was very little. Fucking hurt, so what did my mum do? Bury it in the sand and make a little cross out of twigs for its grave. Never quite understood that.
(Tue 7th Jun 2005, 17:44, More)

» Local Nutters

Devon Nutter
There used to be a guy who walked the streets of the hellhole that is Newton Abbot. His name was Gordon (now sadly deceased I believe). He would always be happy to provide entertainment to us when we were skiving from school. He was your typical common or garden nutter picking up fag ends, but had a very good repetoire, namely his dance, and his owl impression. Everytime we saw him (which was most days) he would tell us he had just had 4 teeth out at the dentist (and proceed to show us the "gaps" in his incredibly smelly mouth), and then would give us the sad news that his brother had died yesterday on the railways. Although very odd, he seemed harmless enough and never tried to bum us or anything.
(Fri 17th Sep 2004, 0:12, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

Once did a spell of telephone support for BT Openworld
I was trying to check this blokes dialup settings and asked him to click on "My Computer". After a rather long pause the bloke asks me why he would want to click on my computer.
Another BTOW customer rang to enquire why we hadnt cancelled her account. I asked her how she had cancelled, apparently she thought that simply unplugging her modem from the phone socket would suffice.
(Thu 1st Jan 2004, 20:48, More)