b3ta.com user localboy
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» Acting out your fantasies

I've always dreamt of having a cock as long as a 2 litre bottle of fizzy orange, and just as wide.

Fanta sized, actually.
(Tue 18th Feb 2014, 7:52, More)

» Kids say the shittiest things

Pearoast from /ot the other week
On espying some burka-clad women in Marks and Spencer, my mate's littlest points and screams "NINJAS!!!"
(Thu 23rd May 2013, 15:48, More)

» Driven to Madness

OK, here it comes - the one about driving
In no particular order, apart from the first one which is THE most dangerous:

-Tailgating. Even if intimidating people like an utter cunt did work, how can driving closer to the car in front make it go faster for you WHEN IT HAS NOWHERE ELSE TO GO?? Funnily enough it isn't generally possible to drive over the car in front, unless you're in a tank. Shooting's too good for'em, guv.
- Lane hogs. The inside lane is nearly always empty. Use it. You may even go faster than the queue of 40 Audis nose to tail in lane 3.
- Indicators are called that for a reason - to INDICATE IN ADVANCE to others what you are about to do.
- If you must pull out in front of me even though there is no traffic behind me and waiting 10 seconds longer would mean you had all the time in the world to do so, for fuck's sake GET A BLOODY MOVE ON. If I have to brake, you should not have pulled out.
- Get that phone away from your ear! All modern phones have a speakerphone. Use it.
- If your music is audible at a distance of more than 10 yards from the car, you should have to pay PRS/public performance/licensing fees just like any other concert.
- Sorry, but putting a fat exhaust on a 4 cylinder car will never make it sound like a V8.
(Fri 5th Oct 2012, 8:43, More)

» Getting Old

I'm not sure, but I think my reactions may be slowing down a bit these days.
(Wed 13th Jun 2012, 16:07, More)

» B3TA Most Haunted

I don't know what to believe
I was disgusted to hear about our double gold-winning Olympic distance runner suffering racist abuse, due to coming from Somalia as a child.

It's wrong that Britain's Mo's taunted.
(Thu 13th Sep 2012, 14:45, More)
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