.............................................................................................................

.............................................................................................................

.............................................................................................................

.............................................................................................................

.............................................................................................................

.............................................................................................................

................................................+++++++++++++++++++..........................................

......................................++++.............+++++++++++++++++++++++...............................

................................+++++.................+....+..+++++++++++++++++++++x++.......................

...........................+++++++......................++++..+.++++++xxx+++++++++++++++++++++++++...........

.......................+++++++++....................++x+.......+++++++++x++++++++xx++++xxxxxexx+++...........

....................+++++...........................++xee+....+++++++++++..++++++xxxxxxxxxiiex++++...........

.................+++++..............................+++x........+++++++++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxeexx+++...........

..............+x+++..................................++.........++++++++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx+............

...........+++++.................................................+++++++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx+............

.........+++......................................................++++++++.+++++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxx+............

......+++...................................................eee.....+++++xxxxxiiie+xxxxxxxxxxxxx.............

...++++.....................................................+xxx...+++++xxxxxeiiiexxxxxxxxxxxxxx.............

.+++++........................................+...................++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx+.............

++++.............................................................++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.............

++...............................................................+xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.............

++..............................................................++xxxxxxxxxexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.............

+..............................................................+xeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx..............

.+............................................................+iiiiii###ieeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx...............

............................................++................e#########ieeeeexxxxxxxxxxexeiie+..............

+..........................................++.++...............xi######ieeeeeexxxxxxxexx+x#######i+..........

..........................................+++++++.............++xii#iiieieeeexeexxeex+...+i########i.........

........................................+++++++++++.+....++++...+xxiiiiiieexxxxxxix+.+x++x##########i........

......................................+++++++++++xx++++..+++++++++.+++++++++xxxxxe+.++++xi###########e.......

................+++.................+++++++++++++xxxxx++++++++++....+++++xx++++xxe+..+i##############e.......

.................++.............+++++++++++++x+++xxxxxxx+...++++++++xx++xxxxxxxxxex+.+e#iee###iixxxei+.......

..............................++++++++++++++++++xxx++..+++++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx+++x####ex+++.+e+........

..............................+++++.++++++++++++++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxex++++x+++++.+i+.........

...........+................++++++...++++++++++++xxxx+xxxxxxxxxxxxexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxex++.....+xi+..........

++.++......+++.............+++.++..+++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxeexeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxexxeeex............

.........+++...............++++......+++++++++++xxx+++xxeeeexeeexxxxexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx++++xx+..............

+++++++.+++++++............+++.....+++++++++++++++xx+xxxxeeeeeeeexxeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx+++++++................

++++++..+++++++++.........+++......+++++++++++++++++++xxxxxxxxeeeeeeeeeexeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx++................

++++++++++++++++.++++++...++++...+++++++++++++++++xx++++xxxxx++xxxxeexeeeexexxxxxxxxxxxxxx++.................

+++++++++++++++++++++++.++++++++++++++++++++++++++++x+++xx+++++++++xxxexeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxx++.................

+++++++x++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++xxxxxxxeeeeeeexxxxxxx++..................

...+++++++++++xxxx+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++x+++++++++++++++++xxxxxxexeexeeexxxxx++...................

....+++++.++++x++xxxxxxxx++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxxeeeeeexxx++....................

......+++++++++++++xeexxxxx+++++++++++++++++++++xxxxx+++++++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxxeeeeeex+++....................

....+++++++++++++x++xeeeexxxxxxx++++++++++++++++xxxxxx+xxx+++++++xxxxxxxxxeeeeeeeeeexx++.....................

..++++++++++++++++++++xeeeeeexxxxxxx++++++++++++x++xxxxxxxx+++++xxxxxxeexeeeexxxxeeex++......................

..++..++++++++++++++++++xeeeeexxxxxxx+++x++x+++xxxxxxxx+xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxexxxxxxxxeeex++.......................

...+++++++++++++x+++++++xxeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxx++x++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeex++.......................

.++++++++++++++xxx++++x++xxxeeeeeexxxxxxx++xx+++xxxx++xxxeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeeeexx++........................

.++++++++++++++xxx++++xxx+xxxxeeeeexxxxxxx+xxxx+++++++++xxeeeexxxxxeeeeeeeeexxxxxx++.........................

+++.+++++++++++xxxx+++++xxxxxxxxeeeeeieexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeeeexxxxxxxxx++..........................

+++++++++++++++xxxxx+++++xxxxxxxxxxeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeeexxxxxxxxxxx++...........................

+++++++x++x+++x+xxxxx+++xxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeeeeeiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxexexxxxxxxxxx++.............................

++++++++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeeeiii#iiiiiieeeeeexxxxxxxxxxx++..+x+...............................

++++++++++++x+x+xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeeieeiiiii###ii#ieeexxxxxx+++.........................................

++++++++++++xx+xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeeeeiiiiii#ix++eeeexxx+..............................................

++++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx+xxxxxxxxeeeeeeeiiiiiiiii.........................................................

++++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx+xxxeeeeeeeeeieiiiiiiii.........................................................

++++++++++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeeiiieeiiiiiiix.........................................................

+++++++++x++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeiiiiiiiiiiie..........................................................

+x+++++x+xx+xxxxxxxxexxxxxxxxxxeeeeeeieiiieeeeeeie...........................................................

++++++++++x+++xxxxxxxexxxxxxxeeeeeeeiieiieeeeeeeie...........................................................

+x+++++++xxx+xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeeeeiiieiieeeeeeeii+..........................................................

xxx+++++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeieiiiiiieeieeeeeeix..........................................................

xx+xx+++xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeeexxxeiiiiiiieeiiieeeeeeei..........................................................

xxxxx++xxxxx+xxxxxxxxxxxeeexxeeiiiieeiiiiiieeeeeeei+.........................................................

xxxxxx+xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxexeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiieeeeeieieeix.........................................................

xxxxx+xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxeexeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiieiiiiiiiieie.........................................................

xxxxxxxxxxxxexeeeeexxeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie+..........................................................

Recent front page messages:

Ken Livingstone's new plan didn't go down well when it was tried in other countries

(Fri 14th Feb 2003, 12:04, More)

The humberside tourist board wondered if their new campaign
would be taken in the spirit in which it was intended.

(Thu 21st Nov 2002, 8:40, More)

The tories were none too happy with their new leader

(Wed 6th Nov 2002, 8:53, More)

He wouldn't like that as much

(Thu 29th Aug 2002, 9:18, More)

excellent
news...
dogs can count

(Thu 1st Aug 2002, 8:11, More)

completed
by engineers in the 19th Century and part of the Regent's Canal, the giant baby head at Islington is widely accepted to be the eigth wonder of the world.

(Fri 26th Jul 2002, 13:08, More)

"iceberg!"

(Tue 2nd Jul 2002, 8:47, More)

it's....
a Pekinese in a Parka

(Tue 18th Jun 2002, 8:01, More)

meanwhile in suburban chiang mai

(Wed 12th Jun 2002, 11:24, More)

Separated at birth?

Mick McCarthy (left) and Sam Eagle (right)
(Tue 11th Jun 2002, 13:11, More)

Dolphin Sex is surprisingly popular
I heard that they commissioned a new series of "Dolphin Sex And the City"

(Thu 21st Feb 2002, 11:55, More)

 

(Fri 15th Feb 2002, 7:50, More)

um...

(Fri 8th Feb 2002, 11:58, More)

Jordan Waterskiing on her ass

(Wed 6th Feb 2002, 7:58, More)

"We don't want some tacky media circus"

(Wed 6th Feb 2002, 6:06, More)

true... maybe this better conveys the message

(Wed 6th Feb 2002, 5:38, More)

I'd buy it

(Tue 5th Feb 2002, 7:26, More)

Recycling an old gag but, hey...

(Tue 5th Feb 2002, 7:11, More)

my entry for most disturbing t-shirt of the year

(Tue 5th Feb 2002, 6:30, More)

you know it makes sense

(Tue 5th Feb 2002, 6:20, More)

in this week's issue...

(Fri 1st Feb 2002, 9:57, More)

when cats go bad
"I wanted to be in front. Why am I always the out-of-focus one?"

(Wed 30th Jan 2002, 5:55, More)

damn. he's at it again...

(Fri 25th Jan 2002, 5:35, More)

 

(Thu 24th Jan 2002, 11:42, More)

woof

(Thu 24th Jan 2002, 7:19, More)

poor joke

Sorry.
(Thu 24th Jan 2002, 6:37, More)

ambassador, you are really spoiling us

(Wed 23rd Jan 2002, 3:26, More)

Personally, I don't think he looks
like he'd be that hot at golf.

(Tue 22nd Jan 2002, 8:30, More)

dr toe?

(Tue 15th Jan 2002, 8:47, More)

here's my baby

(Fri 11th Jan 2002, 9:06, More)

we certainly can

(Thu 10th Jan 2002, 5:33, More)

I was ok
I have very strong teeth.

(Wed 9th Jan 2002, 9:06, More)

it was rob's idea... rob made me do it

Don't blame me...
(Mon 7th Jan 2002, 8:29, More)

my bank manager

(Mon 7th Jan 2002, 6:49, More)

so is this chappy
belonging to Laura...

(Mon 7th Jan 2002, 6:25, More)

morning all

(Wed 2nd Jan 2002, 8:18, More)

how
did he get up there?

(Fri 28th Dec 2001, 10:28, More)

here's a little advert for MSN

(Fri 28th Dec 2001, 4:13, More)

The steps solo careers
get underway.

(Fri 28th Dec 2001, 3:24, More)

a trio of festive meerkats

hurrah!
(Mon 24th Dec 2001, 7:09, More)

And the b3ta
version

(Tue 18th Dec 2001, 4:19, More)

the b3ta polaroid

(Mon 17th Dec 2001, 9:13, More)

It grills on both sides
and it's healthy too as the fat is channelled away from the food.

(Mon 17th Dec 2001, 5:57, More)

pesky bears

(Thu 13th Dec 2001, 13:37, More)

fear the lady in red

(Wed 12th Dec 2001, 8:09, More)

he'll nick anything he will

(Wed 12th Dec 2001, 4:39, More)

yar

(Mon 10th Dec 2001, 9:31, More)

scary lady

(Thu 6th Dec 2001, 6:49, More)

I'm trying to convince Joel
to grow cress out of his head.

(Thu 6th Dec 2001, 6:08, More)

or this

(Thu 6th Dec 2001, 4:28, More)

I preferred this one

(Thu 6th Dec 2001, 3:56, More)

shoes always look better
with cats in them.

(Tue 4th Dec 2001, 10:09, More)

I'd be impressed if they managed
to do...

(Tue 4th Dec 2001, 9:24, More)

or you'll end up like this

(Tue 4th Dec 2001, 8:51, More)

which is fine unless you want
to go cross-country.

(Tue 4th Dec 2001, 8:18, More)

the world's smallest reptile

(Mon 3rd Dec 2001, 11:19, More)

I'm shocked

(Mon 3rd Dec 2001, 8:00, More)

poor mite

(Mon 3rd Dec 2001, 5:13, More)

hooray

(Fri 30th Nov 2001, 12:06, More)

a slightly squidged version
if that helps

(Wed 28th Nov 2001, 10:41, More)

you sure it's not...
....Cat Slater?

(Mon 26th Nov 2001, 7:31, More)

as is that little chappie off Pop Idol

(Wed 14th Nov 2001, 8:27, More)

how can you make that look any
more weird than it already is?
Well I can but try.

(Wed 14th Nov 2001, 6:31, More)

I think that
bloke in the corner could make me buy anything.

(Wed 14th Nov 2001, 6:11, More)

I always imagined something
more like an amphibian vehicle.

(Tue 13th Nov 2001, 10:10, More)

is it any wonder he looks scary
"with you filling his head with such nonsense?"

(Tue 13th Nov 2001, 7:40, More)

do you think he's related to
our contortionist friends?

(Tue 13th Nov 2001, 6:24, More)

before catching some rays
by the pool

(Mon 12th Nov 2001, 5:29, More)

I have a new friend
She's called Legz.

(Mon 12th Nov 2001, 3:21, More)

they're all at it these days

(Thu 8th Nov 2001, 10:27, More)

i prefer a cooling
IceDog.

(Thu 8th Nov 2001, 6:53, More)

sorry dear....

(Thu 8th Nov 2001, 6:34, More)

this made me think of the
O'Reilly Books. Maybe we need to convince them to publish:

(Wed 7th Nov 2001, 6:52, More)

happy to oblige

(Wed 7th Nov 2001, 3:59, More)

"oh dear
I seem to be stuck in a pun"

(Mon 5th Nov 2001, 9:52, More)

he's a fan

(Fri 2nd Nov 2001, 6:49, More)

i caught it on film

(Thu 1st Nov 2001, 9:25, More)

I think this is
Terry Nutkins showing off.

(Thu 1st Nov 2001, 8:56, More)

pun-tastic

(Wed 31st Oct 2001, 10:17, More)

it would never work

(Wed 31st Oct 2001, 4:50, More)

I've always,
always, always wanted to see Jamie Oliver being eaten by a bear while patting a small dog on the head.

(Tue 30th Oct 2001, 11:57, More)

Best answers to questions:

none