b3ta.com user Parsnip
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» Racist grandparents

My Granny once told me the following joke:

"What do the darkies say when the use a zebra crossing? Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't"
(Fri 28th Oct 2011, 0:21, More)

» Dodgy work ethics

My dad
He used to work as a quality manager in a high tech glass components factory (making bits for fancy radar and the like) I worked a summer there as a sort of work experience type deal (i.e do the grunt work and get paid buttons)

One of the foibles of making stuff with glass is the hilarious heat treatment process it all goes through after machining - basically whack it all in a big oven preheated to gas mark something or other and leave for a few days.

One day there was a power cut which led to the big ovens shutting down (ruining all the nearly completed stuff) - quick thinking dad had us chuck all of the reject components in there along with the good stuff before submitting the insurance claim.

Dodgy as hell, it worked though.
(Tue 12th Jul 2011, 14:16, More)

» Books

Dune by Frank Herbert
one of the finest pieces of sci-fi writing around. The (much less well known) books that follow it in the series are also bloody fantastic, even if they do get a bit bogged down towards the end.

The David Lynch film is also sheer, cheesy brilliance - haven't seen it for a while, but the ornithoper pilot who quotes a negative kelvin outside temperature on a desert planet always makes me smile.
(Mon 9th Jan 2012, 18:46, More)