» Road Trip

a heart of darkness...
I was in Ethiopia with a few others from uni looking at rocks with the local survey. The survey had given us a Landcruiser that had no brakes, collapsed suspension and a driver who was necking co-dydramol as his spine had also collapsed. Me being helpful offered to drive. Then it began to rain...

First thing was I approached a village at speed and noticed a soldier relaxing by the side of the road in a chair. Suddenly I realised he had a string attached to his finger that went across the road. This was his road barrier. Suddenly HE realised we were'nt slowing down and he frantically tried to undo the string before the jeep reached it. Luckily he got the string off and I smiled sweetly as I sailed over it and kept going. Further down the road overconfidence made me spin the jeep off into a ditch. Local children ran up to ask me why I had parked in their well? Scratch one landcruiser.

I decided we could walk to the next village only to be told by a farmer bringing his cattle in that we shouldn't go that way due to 'lions'. So we walked back to a local hut where we were invited to stay the night. Then we heard the lorry go past...

We ran out and got a lift. As i got onto the back of the lorry I spotted the five men with AK47's and a boy with a bag full of ammunition sitting on top. What do you do? Easy. Make friends quickly. 'Do you want to keep my water bottle?' Sure. Then the lorry slid off the road...

We all jumped off and the men started digging the truck out. As i watched one of them swinging his shovel, the barrel of the machine gun on his shoulder kept pointing in my direction. He looked over and began to pass me the AK47. Luckily the boy with the bag of ammunition realised this would be a VERY bad idea and, like a waiter, casually took it away from me with a knowing look. Then a small jeep pulled up..

We jumped in the back and sped off. There was seven people in this tiny jeep including a woman giving birth. The jeep didn't stop until we reached the village where we were staying. That evening, my journey over. I sat covered in crap, drinking beer and waited for someone to appear and tell me 'Mister Kurtz, he dead' to end a perfect day.
(Tue 19th Jul 2011, 19:38, More)

» Conspicuous Consumption

american express? that will do nicely
a friend of mine bought a house last month on his credit card.... he now has 47 properties.

The fat git only works 1 hour a day from home and says he's bored. You see money doesn't buy happiness....
(Tue 2nd Aug 2011, 22:13, More)