b3ta.com user Squidlipps
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» Kids say the shittiest things

Does this count?
My Down Syndrome brother (older) used to have an imaginary friend and it could be quite frustrating trying to communicate with him as he would often talk in hushed tones to his friend if he didn't like what you were saying. I was about 12 when I had gone to his room to ask him to turn down his music, which he was listening to at full volume, and the usual to and fro began. Me trying to get his attention and him talking to his invisible friend.
Thankfully, being an imaginative boy, I pulled my imaginary pistol and shot at the space my brother was talking to and blowing away the smoke for affect, announced that "I shot your friend so now you can talk to me". My brother didn't miss a beat and triumphantly announced that I had missed.
I couldn't really argue with that as my marksman skills were untested to say the least and imaginary pistols are notoriously inaccurate. So instead I pulled out my imaginary machine gun and sprayed the room with bullets. Picture if you will the scene from The Untouchables; Sean Connery filled with hot lead and crawling slowly towards his final blood soaked resting place.
I then threw a grenade for good measure. Blowing my brother's imaginary friend's corpse to smithereens and coating the room in imaginary entrails.
There was a small pause and I felt a little guilty when my brother fell to his knees with a cry of pure anguish. He cried for quite a while and there were a few days of mourning before a new friend arrived.

Only had to cock the gun to get his attention from then on though.

Tl:dr? arsehole kid shoots his Down Syndrome brother's imaginary friend for megalolz but feels a bit bad.
(Tue 28th May 2013, 17:11, More)

» Lego

Like other B3tans, I too played with Lego as a child...
But the most fun I had was when i used it to wage psychological warfare on my younger brother (I believe he was 5 or 6 at the time).
I used Lego to construct a gallows to the same scale as my brother's favorite GI Joe figure and left it set up in a macabre scene upon his bedroom floor.
Upon a similar vein. On a separate occasion I rigged the same GI Joe figure to drop down to his eye level with a noose around its neck...I had carefully attached a suicide note to the figure, blaming my brother's 'general stench' for the decision to take its own life. That one didn't involve Lego though, so it doesn't count.
(Sat 26th Oct 2013, 14:51, More)