b3ta.com user dogboy
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» Jobsworths

My car was on fire
In a gas staion in LA (Volkswagen beetle, dodgy electrics) many moons ago.
Being like any sane individual I went to the cash registrar and asked if I could borrow a fire extinguisher. This is roughly how the conversation went with lumpy sweating female who worked there.

"Can I borrow your fire extinguisher"
"Well.... my car is on fire"
"What kind of car is it"
"It's a bug, what difference does it make"
"Don't you have your own fire extinuisher"
"No I don't I used it up a while ago"
"You can buy one if you like they are over there in the corner"

At this point I lost it. Reminded the lump that there was a car ON FIRE in her Farking GAS STATION and if she did'nt sort this out right now I would sue the Fark out of the company blah blah.
Strangly enough she reacted more to the thought of being sued than the fact that there was a smouldering lump of metal on her forecourt .

No Apologies, none
(Fri 13th May 2005, 9:56, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Not me
But a mate of mine who was on tour managing a rap act from New York. Most of the time they were on tour the band sat at the back of the bus getting blunted, generally bored with touring in Europe. Until they get to Austria at which point all of the members start avidly looking out of the bus windows. Naturally my mate is curious as this is the first thing they have shown any interest in at all since the start of the tour. So he asks one of the guys, why they suddenly started looking out of the windows since they have crossed the border into Austria? Apparently none of them had ever seen a kangaroo before.
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 5:53, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

Yay for being Over 30. I no longer have to worry about
Not having enough cash to go to the pub
What anybody thinks about me.
Other Teenagers
Life and all the other mental baggage that anyone under the age of 25 usually carries around with them.

However hangovers do get worse
(Mon 1st Nov 2004, 10:33, More)

» Picky Eaters

Fruit with skin
My flatmate will not eat any fruit that has "skin" on it, so any dishes that include peach or kiwi fruit are strictly off the menu even if they have been "de-skinned" as just the thought of it makes her gack. Also all sandwiches can not have anything hanging over the sides of the bread resulting in her taking 10 minutes to make any kind of sandwich.

Mornings are a delight as she has a curious gag reflex every time she brushes her teeth, which is most unusual as she gives amazing blowjobs. Apparently
(Sat 3rd Mar 2007, 4:11, More)

» Crappy Prizes

ever won anything ever.

(Thu 11th Aug 2005, 13:29, More)
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