» Conspiracy Theories

Skin Grease and the Washing Conspiracy
I've always wondered what the evolutionary purpose of skin grease (sebum) is, and why corporations peddling skin and hair care products want it off of you as if it contains the black plague.

Well, my friends, sebum supposedly acts as a natural lubricant and moisturizer for your dead cells (which, as a side note, is every visible piece of your skin), lessening itchiness and 'visible signs of aging'; has antimicrobial properties, fending off germs; acts as a water repellent, keeping you warmer in wet conditions; and acts as a sweat retainer, helping you stay hydrated in hot conditions. If you're so inclined, you could eat the stuff and it'd be pretty darn good for you.

So, hair/skin care products are sold to you to remove this protective barrier of sebum - and then sebum is sold right back to you as different hair/skin products! Many of these products (soap, makeup, lip balm, moisturizers, shaving cream, and so on) contain lanolin - which is literally sheep grease, squeezed out of sheep wool. You're paying to slap some sheep grease on your face to replace the natural grease you just washed off. What a beautiful consumerist conspiracy!

Long story short, that's why I don't wash, and why I'm the life of the party. Fight the power! Don't shower!
(Sun 4th Dec 2011, 6:33, More)