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Yargh. Nightmare of doom and motorbike frenzy.

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(Tue 4th Oct 2005, 13:07, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Stupid Tourists

At Leicester (or possibly "Lye-sester") station,a few years back.

Australian: "Say mate, could y'tell me where I get the train to Loogabarooga?"
Me: "Sorry?"
Australian: "The train to Loogabarooga."
Me: "Ah - Loughborough! Platform 3."

Edit: Balboa - do I know you then?
(Thu 7th Jul 2005, 17:01, More)

» Job Interviews

Uncivil service
At an interview for the Department of Transport many years ago I was asked ("nothing specific, we're just looking for general ideas, straight off the top of your head") how I'd cut the length of traffic queues in Britain.

"You could make everyone drive shorter cars."

I didn't get the job.

Funnily enough, a couple of months later I got an interview with a different department of the Civil Service. When I walked in, the interviewer looked up, and said "Ah, Mr ********, I believe we've met before." I could just see him thinking "short cars, short cars..."
(Fri 21st Jan 2005, 9:55, More)

» That's when I knew it was over...

There seems to be a bit of a theme this week.
It's all over when you realise she/he's mental.

In my case, the final straw was when she faked cancer.
(Fri 22nd Jul 2005, 13:00, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Badger badger badger
I got home one evening to find my wife staring out of the back window into next door's garden, watching Mr NextDoor disembowel a badger on his lawn.

Mrs BeerPowered: Urgh!! What's that?!!!
Me, looking: A spleen, I think.
(Thu 1st Sep 2005, 9:33, More)

» Hidden Treasure

Hidden "treasure"
When we bought our current house, we inherited a large rabbit hutch with it - handy, as we have two rabbits. While digging the garden over, I "discovered" what had happened to the previous occupants.

What kind of idiot buries dead pets in a tied up plastic bag?

(Fri 1st Jul 2005, 15:34, More)
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