b3ta.com user Amberleaf
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» One Night Stands

Manage to pull at a house party, proceeded to get up to all sorts despite being pissed up. Feeling pretty smug I was, until I went for a piss, turned the bathroom light on and caught a glimpse of coco the carnivorous sex clown in the mirror. Ah, that's why she tasted of aluminium down there.
(Thu 13th Mar 2014, 20:02, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome II

I used to work for social services in an area office, and would sometimes help cover reception as we got a lot of drop in 'trade'. One day a middle aged woman and an elderly gentleman came in. She came to the counter, whilst he loitered near the door saying nothing but shaking vigorously, didn't take a doctor to work out which degenerative condition he was suffering from. I took some details from her, filled out a form and went in the back office to hand these details to the social worker who would shortly go and sit with Mrs Jones and her father to see how we could help. As I headed back out to let them know someone would be out shortly I realised I'd spoken only to her and hadn't involved him in the conversation. Schoolboy error thinks I, he's probably fully switched on under all that shaking and what not, I needed to involve him, make him feel part of the process. I deliberately ignored the lady and shouted out across the busy waiting area to her father, I was bursting with pride at how thoughtful I was being as the words " RIGHT THEN MR PARKINSON'S......" came tumbling out. Silence followed, save for the gentle rustling of Mr Jones' coat. It was a silence that spanned a century or so, until I could take no more and ran into the back office and hid. Not my proudest moment....
(Thu 16th Aug 2012, 16:43, More)

» Books

i loved Richard Scarry books when I was a kid. Awesome illustrations, and characters like Lowly Worm, Huckle Cat and Rudolf von Flugel.
(Fri 6th Jan 2012, 14:25, More)

» Inflated Self-Importance

The Pope.
(Thu 24th Jan 2013, 16:12, More)

» Shit Claims to Fame II

I fingered a bird who was on Jim'll Fix it.

Years after she was on it, I hasten to add.
(Thu 20th Sep 2012, 17:06, More)
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