» Heroes and villains of 2011

Almost over now..
Here we go..

Heroes -
Me local window cleaner, bumped into him at the local a few days prior and he told me of all the nice and naughty things he's seen, and he bought me a drink, I love you window man!

That bloke in the news who went shit-ape on a burglar and went to court for it, I jumped for joy when he got let off.

My partner in crime, the mass-man, for getting me into some harrowing states this year, but always looked after me, big love to him.

And Tourettes and DG, two of the piss funniest people I've met all year

Villains -
My posty, he truly is a soggy wank biscuit.
The Crankies for exposing what never should of been exposed. *shudders*

The whole of the Kraft company...for taking over Cadbury.
(Fri 30th Dec 2011, 12:15, More)

» Random Acts of Kindness

Milk of human kindness
Well I usually keep to myself when dealing with the general public...

Similar to Davros' Granddad's post, I used to give my day tickets from the bus to the next person boarding, i mean when it happened to me it just put the faith of mankind back into, it felt nice ya know..

When we get the snows I do help owld biddys across the road, I guess its my upbringing and such but I always thought I'd like that done to me when I get a wee bit crinklier..

Best act of kindness bestowed upon me? Finding all sorts of money, cigarettes, cans of super strength larger and even a joint on the floor at work, life is good if you know how to play it.
(Thu 16th Feb 2012, 1:15, More)

» I should have been arrested

Growing up in Pegswood...
...Was actually not as bad as people make it out, I acquired some awesome skills for life in 'ghetto'...

Anyway, there's this big lump of earth with trees growing out of it near where I used to live, named 'The Lonin'...think Ronin..

We used to set that big arsed thing on fire more times than i care to recall, coppers would be called out with the fire blokes and we'd scarper.

Note to coppers, never underestimate a native Pegswardian, we might be fat but we can run like fook and know all the best hiding places..
(Fri 27th Jan 2012, 14:51, More)

» Killed to DEATH

Ey up av got t'other story!
This time it envolved the beloved Bonzo the bearded dragon and me...

I got her off my brothers mate, after hulking her mahoosive viv up and down and up stairs, we got her into my room, and thus begins the "my lizzard is awesome" phase..

So I shut her lights off and retire to bed

I arise the next morning and to much fear, as I turn the heat lights on, Bonzo remains still...and cold

Shit the poor thing didnt last a day I've killed her!

In blind panic I call up the lad I procured her from, and he started talking bout diets and shite, all of a sudden there's a thud on the glass of the viv..

Theres wor Bonzo proud as punch with that trademark beardie smile on her face.

Heart attack? Not enought to kill but enough to swear manicly.

Length of sweary-ness, bout half an hour.
(Sat 24th Dec 2011, 13:58, More)

» Killed to DEATH

I dont do things by halves...
...So when i find slug crawling across the kitchen floor, i decide to get the salt out (I was a right 'orrible twat when i was a wee bit younger)

But before administering a small amount of salt to kill the poor thing, I did ponder....what would happen if i put the whole bag on him.

Turns out they dissapear completely..


Im new and it turns out i have twatfull anecdotes too...
(Fri 23rd Dec 2011, 15:13, More)