» Messing with people's heads

Don't mess with an engineer unless you want to wake up with a waste hose in your bunk...
My manager was something of a dick (unnecessarily loud conversations over speakerphone, read his emails aloud for no reason, put me in hospital twice, etc.) so when he followed the office trend and bought a subscription to popular the MMORPG, EVE Online, I figured that having had 2 years head-start on him, now was time for some anonymous revenge.

I set up a new account, and two new characters (one on my old account, one on the new) and got a friend to do the same. Red Tomak and Black Tomak (yes, the cyclepath joke) along with my mate's chars would track him down, and destroy him once he got into anything Battlecruiser sized or larger.

We waited for about 6 months, I endured his many stories of how clever he was transporting frozen plant seeds 30 jumps away for 5 ISK profit a unit (like paying Eddie Stobart 1p per 10 miles), and constantly telling us in the office where he was based.

One night, we decided it was time. We kitted out our little frigates, found him and we blew him up. The next day, he told the office where he'd moved to, and that night, we found him and we blew him up... and so on for a week.

Various ransom demands were sent for trivial items (1000 cases of spiced wine and 250 exotic dancers) which he refused to pay "on principle". So the next day, he told the office where he was now based, and that night, we found him and we blew him up. His battle reports got more and exaggerated, and one time he told us that he'd won and beaten us - when he hadn't - not knowing that it was us all along.

So, the next day he thought he was clever, and undocked in a battlecruiser. We made short work of that, and then, swearing and cursing in local chat enough to make a seasoned docker blush - we podded him, he woke up in the station again, and undocked in front of us in his biggest hardiest battleship.

We blew that up too. but while his shields, armour, and hull swiftly depleated, my friend and I came to a realisation on Teamspeak. There was no way he'd had time to update his clone. If we podded him now, surely he'd lose about 6 months worth of skill points. We dragged him away from the station. We blew up his ship. We podded him. He went into expletive overload. I swear I could hear his screams from my home, 20 miles away. The next day he confirmed our suspicions. He'd lost millions of ISK of ship and kit, along with millions of skill points. He was off the scale kinda mad. Everyone in the office knew it was me, except him. No-one told him.

Well - I did, 6 months later. Turns out he still wasn't over it. Went bloody ballistic in the middle of the office he did. Totally worth it though :-)

TL:DR; My manager was a dick. I blew up his imaginary spaceships. He went mental with rage and never got over it.
(Sun 15th Jan 2012, 15:22, More)