b3ta.com user Mr la-de-da Gunner Graham
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» Filth!

I had a job cleaning trains. We got a £20 bonus for cleaning up vom or shit from the seats, £100 for a toilet ‘blowback incident’ and £400 for helping clean up after a fatality. The inevitable Christmas suicides were great for helping with those little extras. I salute every one of the selfish fuckers.
(Wed 8th Feb 2012, 16:01, More)

» Books

My dad used to read stories to me at bed time.
Treasure Island stands out, mainly because it gave my dad an opportunity to try out his pirate voices. I remember looking forward to being able to read "big books" for myself. It's a wonderful thing to instill a love of books into a child.
Occasionally he would say there wasn't time for reading, leaving me disappointed and story-less. The mystery of these lacks of time was resolved when he was caught one evening giving the woman next door a swift knee trembler and had a fight with her husband on the front lawn. Nice one dad.
(Wed 11th Jan 2012, 21:58, More)

» Messing with people's heads

I used to get involved in winding up workmates, but now I’m the boss I can’t. What was once a laugh would now be a tribunal case (coloureds can be so overly sensitive)

(Thu 12th Jan 2012, 15:33, More)