b3ta.com user salsarider79
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» Foot in Mouth Syndrome II

Why, oh why do I say what is on my mind sometimes?
I work in a bike shop, and on the odd occasion, we get rather attractive young ladies come in. My boss I would like to point out, would shag a fag burn in a fur coat, so often he deals with such lovely ladies. I digress.

One day a young ladies brings a bike in to be fixed. The bike is duly fixed and the young lady in question comes in to pick up said bicycle. We have to take the bicycles up some stairs to the exit of the building (health and safety stuff). I take the bicycle upstairs for her. She bends over and I *happened* to notice her bottom had a nice shape.
Quite why I decided to mention this fact to someone else who worked there, I do not know, but I did.

Turns out to be his 17year old daughter....I got away with it only because my face was so funny. Apparently.
(Fri 17th Aug 2012, 15:48, More)

» Morning After Souvenirs

Waking up with a where am I question in his head...
First: This isn't me, it was a friend. Honest.It sounds fine, waking up in your parents house, on the sofa in the front room.

Just not when they had moved out 4 years previously.

The 'new' owners of the house found it funny and even gave the guy a lift home.

Second: After a party I woke up with my car keys still in my pockets, but on checking the car, found a pair of women's knickers on the back seats. If only I could remember.....
(Tue 1st May 2012, 18:13, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

I love people.....
I lived with a ginger girl who used her personality as contraceptive*.

She even tried to split me and my girlfriend up. Not cos she fancied me, just cos she wanted me to move out. Twunt....

*this might not be true, but she did have an awful personality and was a virgin so I claim this to be true.
(Tue 21st Feb 2012, 11:39, More)