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» Shops and Supermarkets
Things to do at 10:15 on a Saturday night and you have just finished your shift as a till monkey at a well known superstore with the catch phase 'every little helps...'
1. whatever fresh veg that a customer had decided against buying and dumped in the freezers is now thrown at each other, frozen lemons will give you a nasty bruise...
2. Use said veg to go bowling, this is one of the reasons tesco value baked beans tins are so dented.
3. The store meat heads will race around the entire shop floor to see who can complete a lap the store the fastest while carrying the girl they most want to bang (or the overweight girl if they want to look buff) in a firemans lift.
4. Slinging insults at the night staff, day staff see them as lazy (sorry to those who work nights, I've worked them too and at our store it was widely held that night staff were lazy and unable to hack the world of customers. Personally I thought nights were better, as who wants to deal with the customers anyway. Night staff thought day staff were pansies.)
5. Shudder at the fact that the lonely old guy has come in again to buy, no kidding, a bottle of Napoleon brandy and a single and the largest banana he can find...
6. any fresh fish served at the fish counter and left on the end of a till and not spotted has to be binned or in our case put in the work fleece of the weird old woman who works tills and who refuses to handle fish, any fish, be it frozen, fresh or whatever.
7. And the best saved til last.... Its dark, the car park poorly lit... The manager you most hate has badly parked his BMW so you sabotage his car...clingfilm the doors shut or clingfilm over the windscreen.. Get the gone off milk you were supposed to tip down the drain in the dairy and (if its summer and he was fool enough to leave the window open a crack to stop his car getting too hot) save your big thick straw from your KFC frozen desert and insert it in to stinky milk then squeeze until his nice clean seats are covered in gone off cow juice.
(Fri 11th May 2012, 22:30, More)
Things to do at 10:15 on a Saturday night and you have just finished your shift as a till monkey at a well known superstore with the catch phase 'every little helps...'
1. whatever fresh veg that a customer had decided against buying and dumped in the freezers is now thrown at each other, frozen lemons will give you a nasty bruise...
2. Use said veg to go bowling, this is one of the reasons tesco value baked beans tins are so dented.
3. The store meat heads will race around the entire shop floor to see who can complete a lap the store the fastest while carrying the girl they most want to bang (or the overweight girl if they want to look buff) in a firemans lift.
4. Slinging insults at the night staff, day staff see them as lazy (sorry to those who work nights, I've worked them too and at our store it was widely held that night staff were lazy and unable to hack the world of customers. Personally I thought nights were better, as who wants to deal with the customers anyway. Night staff thought day staff were pansies.)
5. Shudder at the fact that the lonely old guy has come in again to buy, no kidding, a bottle of Napoleon brandy and a single and the largest banana he can find...
6. any fresh fish served at the fish counter and left on the end of a till and not spotted has to be binned or in our case put in the work fleece of the weird old woman who works tills and who refuses to handle fish, any fish, be it frozen, fresh or whatever.
7. And the best saved til last.... Its dark, the car park poorly lit... The manager you most hate has badly parked his BMW so you sabotage his car...clingfilm the doors shut or clingfilm over the windscreen.. Get the gone off milk you were supposed to tip down the drain in the dairy and (if its summer and he was fool enough to leave the window open a crack to stop his car getting too hot) save your big thick straw from your KFC frozen desert and insert it in to stinky milk then squeeze until his nice clean seats are covered in gone off cow juice.
(Fri 11th May 2012, 22:30, More)