b3ta.com user TheHunchback
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» Dumped

First date.
I'd just passed my driving test and a girl at work asked me if I wanted to take her to the cinema. Keen to get my end away I obliged and the following Friday tried my best to clean out the bashed up Fiesta and off we went.

We arrived late, got some popcorn and drinks and headed into the screen where the film had already started (lights dimmed, trailers running). It was pretty packed but I spotted two seats near the back and began climbing the steps as quickly as I could... Unfortunately, in my haste my foot got caught on the step and I tripped, throwing popcorn and a full cup of Fanta all over a woman in the middle row.

The audience erupted with laughter as I tried my best to apologise to the drenched woman and her scary husband and my date offered to go to the toilets to retrieve some paper to dab the poor lady dry.

After about 45 minutes of stifled laughter and stares from the other cinema goers it was pretty clear that she wasn't coming back...

I still asked a member of staff to check the toilets before I left, just to make sure she hadn't actually been shunting out a particularly troublesome arse cactus throughout the film (which was wank).

(Sat 5th Jan 2013, 13:16, More)