b3ta.com user Captain Give-A-Fuck
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» UFOs and close encounters

I went to the newsagents when it was John Menzies and not Wh Smith
which it was before it got demolished os we could have a big ol PrimARK. So anyways I was in John Menzies and there was a blonde who worked there who had a bit of the ol mongoloid face going on but was still certainly 'in my league' as cunnts are wont to say. So I was finishing aa shift in the factory putting together plastic toolboxes with my big ol steel toe capped boots and I decides to go and ask her out ona date. Now i haf to say this took a lot of the ol dutch courage as im a right ugly fucker and a perennial punchline to many a birth joke involving slapping and suchlike so the hopes were not in the assendence as you can imagine. So imagine my amazements when i saw a SIGN in the sky! The verry thing to put some girders in a mans step and set the loins to mach whatever. It was ablaze with signifercance and the path to true was open to mine own eyes and so i stepped out with vigour and did my duty and won the day. So she said no and i dint believe in signs fromm the heavens or aliens ever again so im not sure what all that was about.
(Sun 4th May 2014, 22:35, More)

» Weddings Part II

2226!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Fri 21st Nov 2014, 16:51, More)

» Weddings Part II

do dave dee, dozy, beaky. mick and titch dine in darley dale or droitwich?

(Fri 21st Nov 2014, 16:48, More)

» Weddings Part II

does el dozo still get stepped for saying that Rob Fairholme is a dreary sex offender who masturbates to pictures of dead children?

(Fri 21st Nov 2014, 16:33, More)

» Weddings Part II

New question's up
b3ta.com/calendar/event/25416
(Fri 21st Nov 2014, 11:11, More)
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