» One Night Stands

Susan
I was 17 and at a strange pub, my mates hadn't turned up - something told me I was meant to be in anther pub with the same name in an neighbouring town. This was before mobile phones so I had no way of phoning and finding out where the fuck they were. As I was finishing my 3rd or 4th pint and as I was deciding to go home I spotted her.

Susan was sitting on a bar stool and she smiled as I glanced at her. I smiled back. And so it went for a few minutes. Susan got up and came over and sat with me. We made small talk - I got some more drinks - the hours seemed to fly by - her leg was glancing mine. Was it an accident - I rubbed my leg against hers and she smiled. Next thing was her hand stroking my leg and inner thigh. I held her hand and guided to where my erection was bulging in my pants. I was moist as she stroked my bulge. Susan said t was her time of the month so she culd give me a blow job or I could try anal with her.

I suggested we made a move - she said she had her own car and knew a quite spot. On the way out I popped into the gents and purchased some rubber friends not believing my luck. We drove to a deserted industrial estate and parked in the pitch black. I pulled off her top - Susan undid her bra after my several failed attempts. Her tits were massive and I slobbered all over them attempting to find her erect nipples - I suckled hard. Susan pulled off my jacket and t-shirt and undid my belt - I pulled down my trousers and underpants at the same time. Susan held my cock and started tugging before she went down and gave me one of the best blow jobs I had had until then - OK it was my first blow job - Susan sucked and pulled with her lips rubbed her tongue over my tip, sucked my balls and stuck her tongue up my backside - she started pulling my bum cheeks apart before sticking in first one then two then three fingers and began probing my rear exit - did I object - at first but she reassured me I would enjoy it. with fingers deep inside me I exploded in her mouth - Susan holding her cum in my mouth kissed me and then forced her tongue into my mouth so I was tasting my own jizz. I had a queasy feeling about this and wondered how on earth I was going to brag to my mates about this depraved behaviour.

Susan said she was disappointed I had cum so soon as she wanted me to fuck her - I said lets wait half an hour and try again - so she fondled my by then flaccid cock while I continued to paw and slobber over her tits. Gradually I got my erection back and Susan began to suck me off again. I pulled out a condom and fumbled to stick it on - but Susan took over and rolled it on me. She pulled out some KY jelly and smothered my rubber wrapped cock. Susan told me to lay back in the reclined car seat and shut my eyes as she was going to lower herself down on me. Susan said to push up when she told me and push after push I tried to penetrate and after several slippy escapes I finally impaled my hard cock up her rear end and we pushed against each other. I groped her tits as her arse bounced up and down on me.

And this is where my depraved one night stand became a nightmare - as I started to cum I moved my hands down to where her minge should be. Instead I groped Susan's hard cock and balls - I let out a yell of shock as I was cuming up Susans rear end. Susan pulled herself off me and wiped herself down and began to get dressed. I dressed as quickly as possible and asked to be driven home - I sat in shocked silence.

Earlier in the evening I had given Susan my phone number. We met up most Friday evenings after that...
(Tue 18th Mar 2014, 15:59, More)

» Sorry

Big Sue
Some twenty years ago when I was in my early twenties one of my mates friends was called Sue. We all called her Big Sue because she was unfeasibly large and she had the biggest breast with the largest pencil like nipples I have ever seen. Sue was a friend of one of my mates. She was in her forties or late thirties and they both went to the same church. We all thought it was very odd that Fat Sue wanted to hang around a group of late teens/early twenty something lads - but hang around she did - she used to come drinking with us and she was very handy as she had her own car. Then it came to pass - I went to a party where I knew no one apart from my mate who took me and surprise surprise there was Fat Sue. Me and Fat Sue had never got only we always argued and traded insults. But like moths to a flame we gravitated towards each other and started chatting - mostly because we knew no one else there. My mate who took me to the party had cleared off leaving me miles from home in a house where I knew no one and no transport to get home. Fat Sue offered to drive me home and I willing agreed. However her idea of driving me home was stopping in a dark car park in the middle of no where and forcing her tongue down my mouth while massaging my crotch. Unfortunately the cider had got the better of me and soon we where swapping bodily fluids in various orifices. The memory that sticks in my mind where her extremely large breasts and pencil like nipples.

That weekend I went out with my mates again and along came Fat Sue who then gave a graphic stomach churning blow by blow account of our bodily fluid swapping encounter with graphic descriptions of all her orifices that I had invaded. She also said she wasn't on the pill as she hadn't had a boyfriend for 7 or 8 years and she hoped she wasn't pregnant.

I was very rude to Big Sue telling her she was lying and making it all up. I was also very rude about her weight :( I did not see Sue again and I dreaded Sue turning up on my doorstep 9 months later with our child.

So Dear Sue, If you ever read this my sincere apologies for being so rude and destroying your self esteem, you gave me an extremely good experience and I would like to have become reacquainted with your unfeasibly large breasts but your lack of discretion upset me considerably.

PS I appear to have lost a gold ring somewhere up one of your orifices. If it ever reemerged could you please return it as it has great sentimental value.
(Thu 17th Jan 2013, 20:22, More)

» Bad Smells

My brother's car
I hate my brother. I haven't seen him now for 16 years.

His pride and joy was his Hyundai Lantra. I used to tip milk over his engine so when he was driving along the stench of burning milk was blown through his air conditioning and stink out his car. For over a year the car went back and forwards to the garage while puzzled mechanics couldn't trace the awful burning smell. Cost him a fortune.

If you really hate someone pour milk over the engine of their car - the stench is truly incredible and clings to you as only burning milk can :)
(Tue 21st Jan 2014, 1:23, More)