» Messing with people's heads

Toilet rolls
Whenever I'm using someone's loo, I always make an effort to turn the toilet roll round so that it's facing the other way.
(Thu 12th Jan 2012, 13:28, More)

» Heckles

Godspeed You Black Emperor!
Montreal-based post-rock miserablist collective Godspeed You Black Emperor! played a gig at the QM Union at Glasgow Uni a few years ago - 2002, I think it was. It was a sold-out gig, and the hall was mobbed, hot, smoky and sweaty. The band played a set-load of their trademark sombre orchestral cresendoing music (very nice it was too), and went off for a cup of tea and a sit down.

The crowd started calling for an encore and, sure enough, the band came back on stage and started preparing to play again. At this point, someone in the crowd started drunkenly bellowing the spoken-word monologue from the start of "Dead Flag Blues", instantly familiar to GYBE fans:

"The car is on fire!"
"and there's no driver at the wheel!"
"and the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides!"

...and just as he drew breath to finish the verse with the ominous...

"and a dark wind blows"

*someone* preempted him with a sneaky

"and it's murder on the dancefloor!"

which got a laugh from the crowd, and I'm sure I saw a couple of members of the band grin, which is probably some kind of first.

No apologies for length, but apologies if the exclamation mark in GYBE's name isn't correctly placed for the era.
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 12:50, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

To be fair to Terry Pratchett
It's not exactly difficult to get his signature, seeing as how he seems to spend most of his time on book signing tours. I went to one once, and the bloke in front of me (who was German, not that it really matters) had a bag containing hardback copies of every single Terry Pratchett book published up to that point (about 20), and wanted them all signed. While he was doing that, we chatted about some nonsense - the strangeness of conspiracy theories, I think.

I met Michael Palin at another book signing, and apologised for being too poor to actually buy his book. He signed the piece of paper I proffered "Piss off. Yours sincerely, Michael Palin." I just about died from laughing. I think he was quite glad when I left.
(Sat 27th May 2006, 11:09, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

ta-ta-tatty-ta...
In primary school, we were taught the basics of music by an elderly spinster who travelled around all of the primary schools in the area. The curriculum seemed to be leading up to us being able to play "Merrily We Roll Along" on the recorder after 7 years of teaching. Except the lessons were so dull and she was such an inept teacher that we never managed it.

She did, however, have an interesting approach to teaching rhythm. For what seemed like hours on end, she'd stand at the front of the class, mutter something and get us to tap out a rhythm on the back of our left hand with our right hand while singing the beats, in the forms "ta-ta-tatty-ta", "da-da-daddy-da" or "ba-ba-babby-ba".

The upshot of all this education was that by secondary school, pretty much every schoolkid in my area hated music but was an expert at mocking the handicapped.
(Wed 16th Nov 2005, 16:03, More)

» Weird Traditions

Ginger nut elbow cracking make-a-wish challenge.
As a child, my mother told me that if I could crack a ginger nut biscuit into exactly three pieces by holding it in one hand and hitting it with my other elbow, I could make a wish.

Presumably the implication was that the wish would be granted, but since I never actually managed to break a ginger nut into three pieces with my elbow, I never found out.

No one I've ever met seems to be aware of this tradition.

I still attempt it every so often. But not in company. Ginger nuts are great. Especially when red-haired people ask what kind of biscuit you want.
(Thu 28th Jul 2005, 16:11, More)