b3ta.com user Frankiepigeon
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» Ignorance

When I was a kid, for reasons I cannot fathom, I believed Dandruff was a brand of shampoo. I suppose I'd heard adults talking about it in connection with hair and assumed the rest.
I can remember being shocked at Shampoo adverts with slogans like "removes all traces of dandruff" etc and when kids at school cruelly pointed out that they could see dandruff in my hair I would tell them "you can't because my mum buys Vosene not Dandruff"!
Stupid me.
(Thu 11th Feb 2016, 12:21, More)

» Biggest opportunity I've blown

I could've Nailed it.
In the early 1990s I had an audition to review films alongside Johnny Vaughan on the telly. All I had to do was be filmed talking about the last movie I saw. The last film I had seen was Evita starring Madonna.

But I was so nervous my mind went completely blank. My opening line of my review was "it's got Jimmy Nail in it."
I then went on to repeat this random line "It's got Jimmy Nail in it" a further 8 times. Each time I delivered the line in slightly different speech patterns. Finally I ended the review by holding up a board with 4 stars on it.

The producers looked shocked and stunned. I left in silence and funnily enough didn't hear from them again.
And I fucking hate Evita now.
I'm still a Jimmy Nail fan though.
(Fri 4th Apr 2014, 18:51, More)

» Ignorance

Unexpected Mum
Oh and also when I was a kid My mum told me she was the dancing woman in silhouette on the credits of Tales of the Unexpected. It did look quite like her so just believed it. She said she filmed it while I was at school one afternoon.
She would then attempt to dance along with "herself"whenever it was on telly but she wasn't quite as good.

To this day, over 30 years later she still says that was her, so who knows, maybe the producers did film my mum on her day off from cleaning the local biscuit factory! I suppose I'll never know for sure.
(Thu 11th Feb 2016, 12:29, More)

» The generation game

A few years ago...
I was telling my daughter (11 years old at the time) about how we were taught our times tables when I was at school by writing them on the blackboard.
She stopped me mid sentence to ask "What the hell is a blackboard?

She was more familiar with White Board technology so I explained that a blackboard was the non electronic equivalent.
"So it was more racist in the 70's wasn't it?" She replied.

(Sun 1st May 2016, 11:39, More)