b3ta.com user Toma_o
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I collect dust. I actually like computers and round fruit.

Recent front page messages:

I'll be there in a minute....

edit: Ta for FP!
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 16:38, More)

Best answers to questions:

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Strike it Lucky on Mushrooms
After a gentle walk in the countryside one september, my friends and I collected some mushrooms to make some tea with. On getting home to my friends house, we made some tea with a couple of healthy fist fulls of mushrooms and a couple of tea bags to add flavour. Then my friends parents came home (after saying they would be away for the night, and they weren't) and asked us what we were doing, to which we answered 'having some tea'. They asked for some and remained in the room.

We all proceeded to drink the mushroom tea (including his parents who were unaware)and then we all sat down, about half an hour later and watched 'Strike it Lucky' with Michael Barrymore (in the show, not the room with us - now that would have been weird.. watch that swimming pool..). We all (my friends parents included) absolutley wet our collective pants in hysterics at the show and when it finished my friends Dad turned off the TV and said he thought no other TV show would ever be that funny so there was no point watching it ever again. Then my friends Mum decided to try and hoover the pattern off the carpet for 2 hours. Whilst we watched in awe and not saying anything apart from giggling and laughing uncontrollably at stupid things like using glass coasters as glasses.... oh dear.

When the parents worked it out, I was banned from their house for nearly 2 years. My friends parents were Police officers. Even though it wasn't my fault they labelled me as the 'ring leader' and made my life hell for a while. I don't see them any more, so what do I care? Pigs on Mushrooms watching Strike it Lucky.... marvellous!
(Thu 15th Dec 2005, 14:27, More)

» Out of my depth

Public Humiliation
There was a girl in my 6th form I fancied and she suggested that she and I sing a song for the Christmas Show at my school. I was a pressure cooker of testosterone and agreed, thinking about all the 'rehearsing' we could do together.. Well, we rehearsed the song infront of her parents about 10 times and that was it. No private rehearsing at all.

The big night came for the show, she provided me with a costume..... and thought it would be a laugh it we swapped them over! Just as we went, she got nervous and fainted and I went on stage, on my own, in a dress and sang "Gold by Spandau Ballet" (???!!!) and got laughed at and ridiculed for 6 months because of it. She didn't even let me snog, let along fondle her norks.

She went out with some dickhead 5 years older who got her pregnant and fucked off. That'll teach her for making me wear a dress in public. I only wear them in private now!!!
(Thu 14th Oct 2004, 16:54, More)

» I'm an expert

No joke! I have researched and studied hangovers. I have studied everything about the way in which the body absorbs and deals with alcohol(s). Booze is great, but it does hurt the next morning. There are loads of urban myths into booze and hangover prevention. Most of them are complete bollocks, for example - only drinking clear booze (Gin and Tonic, Vodka / tonic, etc). The best way to avoid a hangover is to pace the intake of booze, drink water and try not to drink cheap alcohol (White Lightning, Alcopops, etc) as they have the longest molecular string and the liver takes ages for it to breakdown.

Hair of the dog is just putting off the inevitable.

Best cure for a hangover? Water / painkillers / simple foods / glucose / diet coke / fried breakfast / sex (not necessarily all of them or in that order).
(Fri 24th Jun 2005, 18:11, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

Father Christmas.
For 8 years I was a believer. Until I rigged up a series of traps involving cotton thread and an empty biscuit tin with a few pieces of lego in it.....

!!Crash!! "Oh bugger!"

Dad: "Did you hear that? I could have sworn I saw Father Christmas..... oh look, he's left some presents.." /puts down presents.
(Wed 21st Jan 2004, 14:42, More)

» Teenage Parties

Random House Parties...
A few stories, but here's a choice one..

When I was 19 and a fresh faced Uni student, I tried to attend almost every house party that happened during the first term. My fellow serial-attendees (3 of them) and I would turn up after the pub or club had shut, with beer in hand and something to smoke. One particularly snowy evening before Christmas we crashed the Uni Rugby team house party (a risk we thought taking), drank lots of beer, chatted up a particularly nice girl and snogged her - to find she was going out with one of the guys whose house it was. Nice move to start with. Then we found a permanent black marker pen and drew the whole of the Star wars trilogy (when it was still a trilogy) across the landing and staircase white walls. We were encouraged by lots of girls you see... had to do it. Then we went outside after being chucked out by said Rugby lads. Someone in my group called them 'Wankers' and a pitched snow ball fight with them happened with about 15 of them and 4 of us running down the road being chased. Then we went back and threw snow balls at their house and broke 2 windows, accidentally. Much chasing happened and the police were called. We ran and hid (very brave). Rugby lads lost their temper with the Police and 3 of them got carted off in a Meat Wagon!!! Result!
(Tue 18th Apr 2006, 17:15, More)
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