» Celebrity Encounters III

Who's is better?
My friend once spotted the singer Ian Brown on a plane. Ian had been on Top of the Pops earlier that month singing "My Star" and one of his band was playing a box of eggs instead of a keyboard, proceeding to crack a couple during the performance. My friend didn't understand the significance of eggs to the song (they also appear in the video I'm told) so he went up to Ian, told him he was a big fan then asked him "what was all that about on Top of the Pops with the eggs Ian?". Apparently Ian coolly replied "Eggs is eggs man". Not a hilarious punchline to story but it has become a saying between us and most people we know ever since and has proven to lift a mans spirits in times of despair.

But I myself once spotted a major star in the form of the former Children's BBC "Broom Cupboard" presenter, Andy Crane in my local Frankie & Bennys where I was eating with my family. I had really liked him in the 80's as I was the right age and my name is also Andy. Anyway, later in the evening I went to the toilet, stood at one of 2 urinals. I am always pleased when the gents is empty as my bladder is a bit slower than other blokes and it can all get a bit embarrassing. After a minute or two of failing to urinate, Andy Crane came and stood next to me. This made me more nervous and the "old chap" decided to stop trying to have a pee completely. Just at that moment Andy Crane began to pee in what seemed like a bombastic and cocky manner and before I could stop myself, I involuntarily looked down at "him". I looked back up to find Andy Crane, inches away from me, with his cock out and pissing like the Niagra falls just staring right at my face. Without expelling a drop, I zipped up and left.

A few years later I bravely tweeted Andy Crane about the incident to which he replied calling me a "creepy weirdo".

I think my story's better than the Ian Brown one.
(Sat 7th Dec 2013, 0:59, More)