b3ta.com user Inflatable Giraffe
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» School Assemblies

When I was about 8 or 9, I was quite excited to see a drum kit set up at the front of the hall one assembly. To this day I have no idea why, but one of the older kids had been given permission to play the drums in assembly.

The headmaster built it up to be something quite exciting and asked the boy what he would be playing.

'The theme from Dallas' came the proud response.

Now I don't know what the headmaster was expecting but even before he started playing I knew this was going to be awful. It was. 2 minutes of 8 beat and nothing else.

We never had live music in assembly again, which was probably a blessing.
(Wed 19th Jun 2013, 21:02, More)

» Bad gigs

Not a gig exactly, but
I did a variety show once where, after a particular song, the music was supposed to stop and the director come on stage to do some speech or another. The music stopped and the director walked on. The musical director however had forgotten about the speech and launched straight into the next song, leaving the director no choice but to walk straight back off the stage again.
(Mon 29th Jul 2013, 12:35, More)

» Lucky Escapes

Oh la la
One year while on holiday in France, my wife and I decided we'd try the local zoo.

It was much the same as any other zoo we'd ever been to, except they had a sort of carnival/fairground too. You know the type of thing - Hook-a-duck and so on.

Then I saw the rifle range and decided the best thing to do was to spend the day shooting at tin cans in the vain hope of winning the stuffed monkey, which took price of place at the back of the ticket booth.

I shot the place up in spectacular fashion and collected my prize...

Le kiosk ape.
(Fri 5th Jul 2013, 12:59, More)

» Bad gigs

One and a half hours to get home the other week. All because Bruce Fucking Springsteen was playing our local stadium and the traffic was godawful. Cunt.
(Thu 25th Jul 2013, 20:50, More)

» Lucky Escapes

I have never watched the X factor

(Thu 4th Jul 2013, 20:45, More)
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