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Profile for DarkMalfunction:
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» Anything For Money

I once got paid a fiver by my Dad to sweep the chimney
Two days later in hospital, turns out I'd inhaled enough soot to cause serious damage to my lungs if it wasn't sorted (which it was.)

I couldn't breathe, and neither could my Dad who was still laughing after hearing "FUCK I'M STUCK *splutter*" echo around the house.

Got a tenner though, so worth it.
(Thu 10th Jul 2014, 22:01, More)

» Not-stalgia

QOTW the last few months
There were a few goldmines of answers among spam answers and jokes that had been done hundreds of times before. But it seems this week we've got decent answers! Yay! :D
(Thu 5th Sep 2013, 0:28, More)

» Exposed!

When I was a very young child...
I apparently ran around on a beach butt naked.

Also, while driving home from holiday earlier today, some inconsiderate parent changed their child trousers, which they had soiled, in the view of THREE LANES OF TRAFFIC IN A TRAFFIC JAM. I mean, he could have done it on thei hard shoulder side, where no-one could have seen? Stupid sod.

tl;dr kid changes shitty pants in view of motorway. Not me, honest to god. I'm 22.

length? Seriously, the traffic queued back for miles.
(Sat 10th Aug 2013, 22:16, More)