b3ta.com user Noddy Hodler
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» Celebrity Encounters III

Doctor Poo
Around 10 years ago I was in the backstage area of the Ashton Court Festival in Bristol. We'd been hanging around in there for around 3 hours, swilling beer and regularly pissing in the conveniently located Portaloo as a consequence.

At approximately piss number 6 I stood up, ready to unleash more urine into the Tardis-like surroundings of the aforementioned portaloo (short for portable loo I guess) but noticed the convenience was occupied. I waited a minute or two, bobbing from side to side to ease the pressure on my swollen bladder when the current occupant completed his business and exited the lavvy. And who, you may be asking was that occupant? PAUL MCGANN. COMING OUT OF SOMETHING THAT LOOKED LIKE THE TARDIS.

We gave each other the cursory "man nod" and went about our respective business. I then had a minute long piss in a portaloo surrounded by the warm air of Paul McGanns turds.

So whenever I see Paul McGann on telly (including seeing his image on the end of the recent doctor who) I tediously remark "I've smelled his shit" And then recall the entire story I've just described,

It's one of my favourite stories
(Sun 8th Dec 2013, 0:26, More)

» Celebrity Encounters III

Lionel Blair is a great dancer but a lousy frisbee thrower
My father went to school with a former cast member of Hi De Hi. They've never lost touch, despite his wavering levels of fame over the years so, during the 80's we were frequently invited to various social occasions attended by the comedy & tv faces of the time.

During that time I met Bernard Breslaw, Anita Dobson, Derek Griffiths, Ken Dodd, Su Pollard, Ruth Madoc and others who for some reason I've chosen to blank from my memory (not for yew tree reasons). They were all lovely and, as an added bonus none of them, on any occasion threw a frisbee at my head on Weymouth Beach.


Will I be the first of many to speak up against frisbee throwing 80's celebrities? I can't be the only one. I was afraid to speak up before because I didn't think anyone would believe me
(Mon 9th Dec 2013, 22:56, More)