b3ta.com user Xav
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» Weddings Part II

So Near So Far
I have my dutch friend Adriaan to thank for the most bizarre wedding I've ever attended. I'd known him since he and his family moved from a town called Zegwaart (which always stuck in my head as the running gag when he said where he was from was to repeat "Say Whaaat?" every time, we had a right laugh etc) to the sunny Midlands in the 80s.

It wasn't due to any strange Dutch wedding traditions but thanks to a combination of mildy bracing (fucking torrential) black country weather and a rather shoddy Church roof. As guests scurried into the churchyard under umbrelllas and jacket collars they were met with the sight a sodden and embarrassed man of the cloth full of apologies. A night of hammering chubby rain had taken its toll on the underfunded roof so, er, sorry act of God etc, etc rain check?

Whilst inconvenient to us locals it was doubly so for the travelling Dutch contingent. So in the spirit of "the show must go on" the dripping wedding party made their way to the nearest fully-roofed building to continue the proceedings. So it came to be that the words were spoken, the bride kissed and confetti flung in the hastily reorganised cafe of the local supermarket. Cheering and clapping I turned to see the Groom's mother weeping happily, saying to me "It's so beautiful, reminds me so much of my wedding day". "Oh" I said "did you get wed in Spar too?"
(Tue 4th Nov 2014, 10:47, More)

» Job Interview Disasters

I was two hours late for a job interview
thanks to my reliance on a postcode search in Google maps and my "oh, I'm bound to spot the place" attitude. After too long driving round like a well attired kerb crawler, peering at every building on the industrial estates near a huge rugby stadium, I tended my man shield and gun and asked for directions.

Maybe if I had more of an affinity for large sweaty men playing with their funny shaped balls I would've realised the name of the place I was asking directions to from multiple locals was the rather large stadium looming in the background at every turn. Either they were taking the piss or they thought I was.

I didn't even know rugby stadiums had office space.
(Fri 22nd Nov 2013, 11:36, More)

» Dates Gone Wrong


(Thu 11th Sep 2014, 16:15, More)

» I spied on someone...


(Thu 9th Jan 2014, 11:15, More)