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- a member for 10 years, 4 months and 6 days
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- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 2 stories and 2 replies on question of the week
- They liked 9 pictures, 4 links, 0 talk posts, and 3 qotw answers.
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» Biggest opportunity I've blown
Most Expensive Piss Ever
A long story short, I was in a pub in Ireland that sold scratch cards at the bar and I was queuing up to get a drink and some scratch cards. I left the queue as I really needed to piss and when I returned, someone else had joined the line and taken my place and I was now standing behind them. Turns out he was the guy sitting at the table beside us and we were chatting to him for a while, so we continued to in the queue. All is fine. Anyway, we got our drinks and scratch cards and sat down. A few minutes later he taps me on the shoulder and asks me to check his card, saying that he thinks his eyes are playing tricks on him. I do, and right enough, there are three 50,000 symbols on the card. He cheers, stands up on the chair and exclaims his good fortune to the bar, everyone cheers for him and he buys everyone in the bar a drink to celebrate. I sit there, smiling and wishing him well through gritted teeth. That was the most expensive piss I ever took. Damn my bladder the size of a grape. Why couldn't it be the size of a Terry's Chocolate Orange?
(Fri 4th Apr 2014, 11:01, More)
Most Expensive Piss Ever
A long story short, I was in a pub in Ireland that sold scratch cards at the bar and I was queuing up to get a drink and some scratch cards. I left the queue as I really needed to piss and when I returned, someone else had joined the line and taken my place and I was now standing behind them. Turns out he was the guy sitting at the table beside us and we were chatting to him for a while, so we continued to in the queue. All is fine. Anyway, we got our drinks and scratch cards and sat down. A few minutes later he taps me on the shoulder and asks me to check his card, saying that he thinks his eyes are playing tricks on him. I do, and right enough, there are three 50,000 symbols on the card. He cheers, stands up on the chair and exclaims his good fortune to the bar, everyone cheers for him and he buys everyone in the bar a drink to celebrate. I sit there, smiling and wishing him well through gritted teeth. That was the most expensive piss I ever took. Damn my bladder the size of a grape. Why couldn't it be the size of a Terry's Chocolate Orange?
(Fri 4th Apr 2014, 11:01, More)
» Christmas Tales
I was a bit of a shit when I was younger
and me and my sister were always causing trouble together. Including Christmas Eve 1991 when we blocked the bathroom sink, turned both taps on and then promptly left and went downstairs. A few hours later there's this big damp patch in the kitchen above where the fridge was and it has visibly started to bow. Cue the water breaking through and going everywhere and even getting as far as the electricity meter and then out goes everything. Of course with it being Christmas, trying to get someone out to fix it was next to impossible. Cue Christmas day opening presents in the dark with candles everywhere and no Christmas dinner, we relied on neighbours to bring us food whilst my entire family, and even my bitch sister, giving me evils the whole week after.
Still, I got the bike I asked for so it wasn't all bad.
(Tue 24th Dec 2013, 15:23, More)
I was a bit of a shit when I was younger
and me and my sister were always causing trouble together. Including Christmas Eve 1991 when we blocked the bathroom sink, turned both taps on and then promptly left and went downstairs. A few hours later there's this big damp patch in the kitchen above where the fridge was and it has visibly started to bow. Cue the water breaking through and going everywhere and even getting as far as the electricity meter and then out goes everything. Of course with it being Christmas, trying to get someone out to fix it was next to impossible. Cue Christmas day opening presents in the dark with candles everywhere and no Christmas dinner, we relied on neighbours to bring us food whilst my entire family, and even my bitch sister, giving me evils the whole week after.
Still, I got the bike I asked for so it wasn't all bad.
(Tue 24th Dec 2013, 15:23, More)