b3ta.com user --=| Daz |=--
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Profile for --=| Daz |=--:
Profile Info:

I am Darren, also Daz, hello.

I do things, here are some of them

Getting Born: I've only done this once, it went well. I did it at 06:25 on the morning of Feburary 13th 1984 and at the time I was on the south side of Glasgow (Pron: Gless-gah)
Studying: I also did this once, when was it? I forget. It was in Electronics at the University of Glasgow though. I blame my dropping out on b3ta.
Getting Money: Despite taking money from most of the UK's public, these people actually give me money! Hurrah. Shame about the uniform.
Driving Fast: I do this too often, generally on my bike. Rawr!

If you wish to contact me by email, use: Dazfish at gmail
If you wish to add me to msn, also use: Dazfish at gmail (my LetsTryThisAgainShallWe account is dead, re-add me with new address!

I have also made website-type things

My talk board link thingy seems to have gained in popularity
But my free image storage service hasn't, don't know why, steal my bandwidth you fucks, I don't care!

If you are insanely bored check out my actual site but there really isn't anything on it worth looking at.

Meanwhile, in other news:

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Hark! Who is that, skulking on the desert! It is Daz, hands clutching an oversized scalpel! He roars thunderously:

"Vengeance and goo flow from my veins! I bring darkness and mayhem until my glands are satisfied!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Bedtime Bear
You are usually asleep on the job but that's okay because your job is to make sure everyone gets enough sleep! You're shy and sweet...when you are actually awake! Getting sleepy already?


Are You A Natural B3tan
brought to you by Quizilla
Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

Congratulations! If your mission in life
is not already to preserve the English tongue,
it should be. You can smell a grammtical
inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is
revered by the underlings, though some may
blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just
jealous. Go out there and change the world.

How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)
brought to you by Quizilla
I am Plague. Got Me?
Which Horrible Affliction are you?
A Rum and Monkey disease.
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Daz's Lurgy
Symptoms:deafness, beeping, skin whitening, swearing
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

Sex With Nuns
Whether as a punishment or as a reward, the fates have decreed that you will spend eternity having sex with nuns. Better be careful though, they are 'Brides of Christ', and if he catches you at it he'll pull out your pubic hair.
Sex With Nuns
Are You Damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

I am going to die at 72. When are you? Click here to find out!

Am I a nerd?

36% scored higher (more nerdy), and
64% scored lower (less nerdy).
What does this mean? Your nerdiness is:

Low Ranking Nerd. Definitely a nerd but low on the totem pole of nerds.

I am nerdier than 64% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

You are .dll You are dynamic.  You are constantly in danger of bringing down the house, because you don't play well with others.
Which File Extension are You?

:: how jedi are you? ::

Congratulations, you're Charles Manson!
Mad as a hatter and friend of Beach Boy Dennis Wilson, you believe that the Beatles song Helter Skelter is indicative of a coming race war, where the "blackies" will win. You also consider yourself a talented folksinger.
You have amassed a group of female followers known as The Family, who perform killings for you and look upon you as if you were Jesus Christ. You have sex with each and every one of them, and encourage them to have sex with each other, but they're most famous for killing pregnant actress Sharon Tate.
I am Charles Manson.
Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.

What Flavour Are You? I taste like Peanut Butter.I taste like Peanut Butter.

I am one of the most blendable flavours; I go with sweet, I go with sour, I go with bland, I go with anything. I am practical and good company, but have something of a tendency to hang around when I'm not wanted, unaware that my presence is not welcome. What Flavour Are You?

Alternative rock! You're the very interesting side
of rock... You sometimes reach the masses,
like Placebo, but mostly you're underground and
stay true to your musical roots... Just keep
what you're doing and churn out that good

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are metafilter.com You're involved in the community.  You like to share with your friends. You're into omphaloskepsis. You like pancakes and the color blue.
Which Website are You?

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Good Advice

Never trust a man with pointy shoes
Honestly, have you ever seen someone who wears shiny black shoes with a pointy toe and is actually trustworthy? I bet you haven't!
(Mon 24th May 2010, 10:06, More)

» Cars

RAC not listening on the phone
"I am in Tesco's car park and my engine has exploded. Send help"

So they send a man in a small van to come and assess the damage. The engine has exploded, right enough. Nothing he can do about that then, are we surprised? No.

"I'll need to get a tow vehicle, one is on it's way to you now" and off the RAC man in the small van heads to another job.

More bored time later a nice big giant lorry appears, you know, the kind that tow busses, for my little car. Overkill maybe? Oh yes. Can it get under the 2.1 meter height limit for the car park? Not even close.

Cue myself, RAC man and 2 members of the public (thank you very much) pushing my car up and out of the car park (and over speed bumps, thank you Tesco) all the way to the truck.

Entire episode took close to four hours.

Not my longest by far but the longer story is just too long to explain in detail and I am lazy. Was involved in an accident approx 10 miles from home. 9 (NINE) hours later I was 40 miles from home. Aren't the RAC clever? No. They are cunts.
(Sat 24th Apr 2010, 8:48, More)

» Conned

Self service checkouts
I work in Tesco and have full access to all the self service checkout functions. This includes the "reprint last reciept" function.

There is an ongoing offer where if you spend £50 on anything you get a voucher to get 5p off every litre of petrol for one fill up. So every time someone spends £50 at the self service they get a voucher, then I hop on behind them and reprint it and stick the duplicate voucher in my pocket!

On an average day I can get 50+ of these vouchers quite easily and have no problem getting £2-3 each for them

Easy money :)
(Wed 24th Oct 2007, 0:05, More)

» Weird Traditions

Me, my best friend, and both our girlfriends all play this one
whenever the four of us are out, on sighting a yellow vehicle you must attack whoever is nearest to you, either by prodding them in the arm or spanking them. On sighting a red vehicle or hearing a siren, it is essential that you stop what you are doing and kiss someone, usually your partner.

There has never been any reason, or adequate explination for this behaviour, but we all agree it is a good idea.

This has gone on for months now, and results in strange looks from passers-by, but I sure as hell don't complain when I get a spank and a kiss in the middle of the street!
(Fri 29th Jul 2005, 8:05, More)

» Near Death Experiences

Near death experiences, I'm good at those
20 year old idiot on a 600cc sportsbike trying to keep up with 40 year old idiot on an 1100cc sportsbike, open country road, 'nuff said
(Sun 28th Nov 2004, 0:42, More)
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