b3ta.com user MC Chicken Sandwich
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for MC Chicken Sandwich:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:

Click for bigger (254 kb)
(Wed 9th Mar 2022, 10:18, More)

(Tue 4th Jan 2022, 9:05, More)

(Mon 19th Jul 2021, 17:59, More)

Best answers to questions:

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Why doesn't the Labour party use Norton Antivirus?
It's cos they're bit anti Symantec.
(Mon 14th May 2018, 20:50, More)

» Parsimony

My Dad loves a remainder bookshop called The Works. There seems to be one on every high street.

One day he found a book in there on some cunting subject such as Lancashire pottery in the 17th century or something that amuses old people and he bought a copy for £2.99. Having read it, he found it to be so good he thought he'd get a few more copies to hand out to friends and family.

He went back to the shop, but they didn't have any more. He asked the lady to look on the computer, and she confirmed there were three copies in Bradford and two in Plymouth. Regrettably, they weren't able to transfer this stock to his local shop.

The cunt then set off on a multi-hundred-mile road trip to buy half a dozen cut price books he could have got off Amazon marketplace for probably the same price, if not less.
(Mon 14th Mar 2016, 19:38, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You II

I asked my mum what thunder was
She said it was clouds bumping into each other. I knew that was complete bollocks.

My grandma told me to eat my bread crusts, because it would make my hair curly. I thought "What if I don't want curly hair?" Didn't believe that crap and anyway, the crust is the best bit of the bread, so I needed no encouragement.
(Sat 12th Aug 2017, 23:49, More)

» Stories of unsurpassed brilliance

The village shop
I live in a tiny village where there's no pub, no shop, no post office. Just a picture framer and a coffee and cake cafe.

Some fella decided to open a shop. He hired a vacant building, and then proceeded with a marketing campaign which consisted of two bits of A4 paper stuck to a couple of trees.

The opening times were Monday to Saturday, 09.00 to 18.00. I stuck my head round the door to see what he offered, and it was mostly cat food and chocolate bars.

The village shop closed within three weeks. Funnily, few people were desparate for a Mars bar Monday to Saturday, 09.00 to 18.00.
(Sat 26th Nov 2016, 20:40, More)