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This took far too long

Part two
Part three
Part four
(Tue 11th Mar 2003, 0:38, More)

I'll preempt the bandwagon with this repost

(Thu 27th Feb 2003, 12:48, More)

After sitting there for three hours
Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can, spins a web, gets stuck in your bath
Peter Parker realised there were certain things he could no longer do after the radioactive spider incident.

Clicky for biggy
(Sun 12th Jan 2003, 21:08, More)

I've just been to B&Q

...and bought myself one of them angel grinders.
(Mon 21st Jan 2002, 7:15, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Losing Your Virginity

On my hands and knees in a friend's living room
I rubbed it as hard as I could, and it frothed up.

Oh... virginity? Sorry, I thought the question was about trying to get Guinness out of carpets.
(Sat 5th Mar 2005, 20:01, More)

» Dad Jokes

Came downstairs one day to find a box of Persil on top of the telly
I asked what it was doing there and got the reply "We haven't got any Ariel"
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 12:39, More)

» Old People Talk Bollocks

My sister's mother in law isn't very good with words
One day, she was talking about duvets, and confusing the hell out of everyone. After a while, it transpired that she meant vol au vents.

She also cooks food in a microphone, and the four suits in a deck of cards are Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds and Tree-wee things.
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 18:13, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

A friend spent a summer working in a pub
a customer came in and ordered lasagne. A few minutes after ordering it, she beckoned my friend over from behind the bar. She had very carefully picked out the paste (i.e. the actual lasagne) from the food and put them on one side.

Her: What's this?
Friend: Lasagne.
Her: No it isn't.
Friend: Yes it is.

This escalated to the point where my friend and the chef in the pub were standing next to the customer trying to convince her that yes, that is actually lasagne on the plate. It's a pasta dish, dontcha know.
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 23:22, More)

» Strange things you've been paid to do

Two words: Bat shit
I once spent an lovely afternoon during the summer holidays from university crawling around on my hands and knees in what must have been 2-3" of bat dung lining the rafters in a church attic, running cables for the new lights my employer was installing.
(Fri 1st Oct 2004, 17:58, More)
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