b3ta.com user The Secret 7000
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for The Secret 7000:
Profile Info:

All my shite goes in here

Michael Connor, or "Master Mike" of the Secret 7000

Recent front page messages:

My clone annoyed me

So I hit him
(Wed 17th Mar 2004, 17:08, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Debt pron

When drunk a few years ago
I ordered 500 quids worth of toilet paper. Yep, toilet paper. On a CapitalOne card. I had fun playing with it when it arrived, building forts and suchlike, but I only crap as much as the next bloke. It wasn't long before I realised what a complete fool I had been. Most of it was skipped a few weeks later.

A mate of mine swears he didn't put the idea into my head when I was wankered, but I don't believe him.

My parents (bless them), have recently given me £1k to help out with my financial problems. Maybe on his deathbed I'll tell my father where £500 of that actually went.
(Thu 23rd Nov 2006, 23:48, More)

» Out of my depth

About 15 months ago
walking down a street in Liverpool, I was politely asked if I had any heroin on me. Or, rather "Eeeeeh mate, got any fuckin' scag?". I didn't, but being slightly drunk (read: shitfaced) I played along with it and gave him the remains of a kitkat wrapped in foil, which I had in my pocket. He gave me 40 quid and I was off.

About a month later there was a group of lovely looking men outside my house (god knows how they found me) threatening to "twat me to fucking africa" if I didn't give them 40 quid and a tenner in compensation. Which I did. And they left.

Totally out of my depth.
(Thu 14th Oct 2004, 15:26, More)

» Losing Your Virginity

Aged 19
to a girl I cared very much about, in my bed, completely sober. Well, sober very quickly when I realised I'd left the webcam to my great aunt on.
(Fri 4th Mar 2005, 15:29, More)

» The Police

Uncle
My uncle, now departed this life, told this story every time he got pissed. Aged about 25 (that would be about 30 years ago), he was pulled over for speeding. Without saying a word, and being more than a little inebriated, he punched the copper out cold, put him back in his patrol car, and drove off. He never heard anything about it, having also taken the copper's notebook and giving his car a gook kicking.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 15:57, More)

» Strange things you've been paid to do

I was paid quite a lot of money
for licking tomato puree off someone's armpit yesterday.
(Thu 30th Sep 2004, 10:25, More)
[read all their answers]