The Sick Boy porn plan:
I mentioned earlier a plan for making porn and money which some of you expressed an interest in. Here is the (as yet untried) plan:
There was a hoax advert placed in a couple of tabloids some time ago asking for volunteers to be the next big thing in porn. The response was phenomenal and got me thinking. Why not place an ad in a few tabloids asking people if they want to have a career in pornography. If the response was anything like the last then arrange an audition day and ask the people along to a suite at a respectable hotel to try out for the (pardon the pun) position. Most of Middle-England is a hot-bed of perversion and exhibitionism anyway so I anticipate a good response.
On their arrival at the suite in the hotel at their alloted slot have them met and greeted by a respectable lady (my friend Louisa has already signed up for the job) and asked to sign a disclaimer and a contract (my lawyer mate says it can be done) handing the rights of the audition footage to my company. Then have them relax, choose the sex-toy of their choice and audition for ten-fifteen minutes (solo) on the bed in the suite. This wouldn't be an unreasonable request for an introduction into one of the biggest industries on the planet (worth around $4 billion in the US alon in 2000).
I would then use the footage to compile a load of tapes of 'amateur girls/boys'. The not seen before amateur market for videos is a lucrative one and the distribution of this alone should be a money spinner. The added bonus is that we should have enough of a demographic cross-section to cover some specialist areas (Asian Babes, Fifty Plus, Gay, etc). But this is only the start. I would then circulate the audition tapes throughout the production industry and introduce the people who have registered with me to the other movie/production companies. An adult recruitment agency if you like. This is where the fun really begins. With enough capital behind, due to relaxed EU UK porn production legislation, I could form my own production company á la Paul Raymond school but classier. The options are endless.
There are a few more details to fill in but the bulk is there. What are your thoughts?
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:05,
archived)
I mentioned earlier a plan for making porn and money which some of you expressed an interest in. Here is the (as yet untried) plan:
There was a hoax advert placed in a couple of tabloids some time ago asking for volunteers to be the next big thing in porn. The response was phenomenal and got me thinking. Why not place an ad in a few tabloids asking people if they want to have a career in pornography. If the response was anything like the last then arrange an audition day and ask the people along to a suite at a respectable hotel to try out for the (pardon the pun) position. Most of Middle-England is a hot-bed of perversion and exhibitionism anyway so I anticipate a good response.
On their arrival at the suite in the hotel at their alloted slot have them met and greeted by a respectable lady (my friend Louisa has already signed up for the job) and asked to sign a disclaimer and a contract (my lawyer mate says it can be done) handing the rights of the audition footage to my company. Then have them relax, choose the sex-toy of their choice and audition for ten-fifteen minutes (solo) on the bed in the suite. This wouldn't be an unreasonable request for an introduction into one of the biggest industries on the planet (worth around $4 billion in the US alon in 2000).
I would then use the footage to compile a load of tapes of 'amateur girls/boys'. The not seen before amateur market for videos is a lucrative one and the distribution of this alone should be a money spinner. The added bonus is that we should have enough of a demographic cross-section to cover some specialist areas (Asian Babes, Fifty Plus, Gay, etc). But this is only the start. I would then circulate the audition tapes throughout the production industry and introduce the people who have registered with me to the other movie/production companies. An adult recruitment agency if you like. This is where the fun really begins. With enough capital behind, due to relaxed EU UK porn production legislation, I could form my own production company á la Paul Raymond school but classier. The options are endless.
There are a few more details to fill in but the bulk is there. What are your thoughts?
if
you _really_ like being exploited, I'm
sure you could find a way without having
to sign anything.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:16,
archived)
sure you could find a way without having
to sign anything.
porn is always good
especially when it MAKES money for you
edit: my mate and i are making a porn site (no, we wont be the stars). we'll give a discount for b3tans*
*maybe
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:07,
archived)
edit: my mate and i are making a porn site (no, we wont be the stars). we'll give a discount for b3tans*
*maybe
We had already established that fact months ago...
... I was asking about the plan! (you are only there for illustration)
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:08,
archived)
Thank god,
Don't make that pictuer the logo or anything.
I'd love to get involved but I can'e see my girlfriend being too happy with the news.
"Darling, I'm going into porn!"
BUT, I can do any artwork for videos and stuff...for money.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:10,
archived)
I'd love to get involved but I can'e see my girlfriend being too happy with the news.
"Darling, I'm going into porn!"
BUT, I can do any artwork for videos and stuff...for money.
We're not on a winner here
if Bovine's our first sample.
I mean, a hat eh? A hat's no puller...
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:10,
archived)
I mean, a hat eh? A hat's no puller...
You would be suprised...
...at the response that picture elicited from the b3tan ladies. Much moistness.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:14,
archived)
bloody hell - it's quite a good idea
thats scary.. sick boy indeed
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:07,
archived)
Im up for it.
I could also be a stunt cock if necessary.
edit: I have an extensive knowledge of porn, if that helps.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:08,
archived)
edit: I have an extensive knowledge of porn, if that helps.
haha
this has become my favourite thread of all time
what does that say about me and B3TA ?
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:10,
archived)
what does that say about me and B3TA ?
good point.
Although, I do know some men who claim not to own porn, never to have owned porn, and not to wank regularly.
I call these people liars.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:17,
archived)
I call these people liars.
women love it.
they just tend not to admit it.
My sis used to have the biggest porn collection I have ever seen. Absolutely amazing.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:24,
archived)
My sis used to have the biggest porn collection I have ever seen. Absolutely amazing.
pretty much every top shelf mag for girls and boys.
some under the counter stuff too.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:36,
archived)
if it is, Ive been applying for jobs that arent entirely suitable for me.
In industry slang, its the todger that appears purely for the purpose of "The Money Shot".
Im proud of my todger, and I think it needs a cinematic career to enrich ladies lives.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:19,
archived)
Im proud of my todger, and I think it needs a cinematic career to enrich ladies lives.
But don't let fame get to it's head or it
might pack it's bags for sunnier climes.
Leaving you todgerless and broke.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:22,
archived)
Leaving you todgerless and broke.
we have an attachment that will never be broken*
*six ligaments, if I remember correctly.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:37,
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Its a nice idea.
I think the majority of people would be stupid enough to sign the disclaimer. hey presto, Gonzo heaven.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:08,
archived)
can I work
for you?
I have no skills except electronic repair and office stuff (although I could learn to be an accountant. It sounds easy enough.)
On the plus side, I do genuinely have a degree in Anatomy and Human Biology.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:09,
archived)
I have no skills except electronic repair and office stuff (although I could learn to be an accountant. It sounds easy enough.)
On the plus side, I do genuinely have a degree in Anatomy and Human Biology.
I am already a part-qualified accountant...
...but if you have a big dick then please come along.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:10,
archived)
I have a big dick!
It's in a jar, and has seen better days, but I could bring it...
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:12,
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tiny cock
but I'm a big fat hairy man with loose morals. Enough booze and I could be in your "german bears" specialist video series.
not really selling myself as a winner here am I?
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:13,
archived)
not really selling myself as a winner here am I?
That's all very well. But what would your Mum say?
What would she tell the neighbours? Eh?
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:13,
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I don't think my Mum watches much porn...
...though she always said she would be proud of me no matter what i chose to do. This, however, might just render that sentiment void.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:15,
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A friend of mine
had to start a second business to stop his mum asking so many questions about how he made a living. Being a fairly devout catholic, he thought that telling her about the porn sites probably wouldn't go down too well :)
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:20,
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HEY
I could do some cheesy soundtracks if you like ? 70's wah wah stylee !
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:23,
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Yes
Yes please. Porn wouldn't be porn without seventies cheese.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:26,
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I'm up for
doing any graphics or whatever...video covers, that sort of thing.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:27,
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I'm up for quality control.
ie. taking it home for the weekend.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:29,
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I think with the b3tan collective talent...
...we could pretty mutch sew the whole thing up. Do you think Channel 4 would give me money for documentary rights too?
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:29,
archived)
You could do a further film
"the making of"
And make it seem really exploitative.
( ,
Thu 30 Oct 2003, 16:35,
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And make it seem really exploitative.