From the If Ads Told The Truth challenge. See all 457 entries (closed)

(Adrian Monk, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 12:57, archived)

Why the fuck would anyone want to shop at Ikea?

( Ain't nothin' but the E to the M to the motherfuckin' V cyberpimp, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 12:58, archived)

It's not just a shop
it's an experience

And they sell Dime Bar cake which is the fucking nuts!
( Joe Scaramanga Nothin's gonna stop me gettin' to the Caymans, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 12:59, archived)

So you go to a furniture shop
to buy cake?
( Ain't nothin' but the E to the M to the motherfuckin' V cyberpimp, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:00, archived)

I would
.
( .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:10, archived)

I go there for the pear cider
It am the woo.
(qwisp, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:32, archived)

lack of imagination coupled with the desire for cheap shitty furniture
their wine glasses are fantastically cheap though
( mictoboy zombies are shit, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:00, archived)

I bought 4 wine glasses for 89p
in Sainsbury's the other day

that's cheap enough for me
( Ain't nothin' but the E to the M to the motherfuckin' V cyberpimp, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:01, archived)

yes, yes it is :)
but the wineglasses alone are not a good enough reason to visit either vendor
( mictoboy zombies are shit, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:04, archived)

Sainsbury's also conveniently sells all the food I eat
and is on my way home from work

Ikea is fucking miles away and sells pretty much nothing I want or need - I made my coffee table out of wood and screws in the garden.
( Ain't nothin' but the E to the M to the motherfuckin' V cyberpimp, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:08, archived)

I'm planning to do this.
I now have my toolbox so I can go around building things and fixing things.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:43, archived)

Tescy value.
Although Fae wine comes in a tumbler, as I 'can't be trusted'.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:04, archived)

it's true that only 2 of those wine glasses now remain
:(
( Ain't nothin' but the E to the M to the motherfuckin' V cyberpimp, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:05, archived)

I recommend plastic picnic cups and 'glasses'.
Definitely a sensible idea.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:10, archived)

Cheapness.
And meatballs.

I keep thinking of you every time I roll dude. Must repay the kindness.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:01, archived)

any time
:)
( Ain't nothin' but the E to the M to the motherfuckin' V cyberpimp, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:01, archived)

i think your dice are broken

( mictoboy zombies are shit, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:04, archived)

Snake eyes!

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:09, archived)

Socially sanctioned,
media-manipulated, consumerist, glossy-magazine-aspirational nesting instinct on a real-world budget, it looks like to me .....

.... but maybe I'm just a bitter single pauper.
( Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:06, archived)

tha's ace.
though i actually love ikea. i know, i'm the only one
( plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:04, archived)

I don't have anything against Ikea.
Like the BP one above, the worst adverts are the ones where companies try to advertise themselves as the exact opposite of what they stand for.

Ikea is the very reason everyone has so much beige furniture; now they're trying to distance themselves from it. A ha.
(Adrian Monk, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 13:13, archived)