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[challenge entry] the footwear food chain

From the If Ads Told The Truth challenge. See all 454 entries (closed)

(songsforeveryone, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:35, archived)
# Lonsdale?
My parents made me settle for Lidl own brand! It was grim oop North...
(sarcasticgoat Coming in your ears, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:36, archived)
# You lucky bastard
we wore clogs full of broken glass
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:37, archived)
# You had it easy!
we were forced to walk on hot coals and use our scar tissue as our shoes!
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:39, archived)
# At least you were allowed to use your feet
I had to keep mine good for Sunday school
(sarcasticgoat Coming in your ears, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:42, archived)
# you actually _had_ feet!
luxury!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:43, archived)
# we had to share feet
I had them Wednesday and Saturdays.
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:44, archived)
# I only got a left foot on a Sunday
Had to hop to church
(sarcasticgoat Coming in your ears, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:48, archived)
# Still, if you told anyone outside of B3ta this
They wouldn't believe you
(iapetus, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:51, archived)
# Right...
when I were a lad my dad use to used to cut off my feet every morning so that my mum could boil them up with a couple of handfuls of filthy gravel to feed my fifteen brothers and seventeen sisters. They'd make me stand in Mt.Etna to cauterize the wounds before I went to school and if I was late the teacher would murder me in cold blood after I'd written out the entire contents of Encyclopaedia Britannica, from memory, onto the blackboard.
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Sat 7 Apr 2007, 0:53, archived)
# Clogs? We used to dream of clogs.
Our ma used to cut our feet off so she wouldn't have to buy us shoes.
(I helped save b3ta! n8ive Zip it, Shrimpy...you cunt!, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:42, archived)
# Cutting? Cutting?
You don't know you're born!
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sat 7 Apr 2007, 0:03, archived)
# Want trainers that will last more than six months?
Buy skatewear from Converse or Vans :)
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:36, archived)
# ^This
is very true :)
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:47, archived)
# ^Very very true
I've got a pair of Vans - lasted me 5 years and still going :D
(I helped save b3ta! its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Sat 7 Apr 2007, 0:06, archived)
# Maybe I mistreat my shoes
but my Converse never lasted more than three weeks before being ripped from the soles.

Now I just wear Docs. Much more comfortable, too.
(I helped save b3ta! xugglybug - you know, the one with the ears, Sat 7 Apr 2007, 0:50, archived)
# Want actual running shoes?
You won't find them in sports shops.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:36, archived)
# In that case...
Do you happen to know where I could get some XCR Boa's?
(ZoFreX is cleaner than smoked trout, Sat 7 Apr 2007, 0:35, archived)
[challenge entry] and in a not dissimilar vein...
(songsforeveryone, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 23:40, archived)