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# anyone around?
I need help. Boyfriend help.
edit: sorry, had to go throw up.

I was supposed to go to England to visit my boyfriend in 12 fucking days. Today I get this after not hearing from him for two weeks. The last time we talked he couldn't wait to see me and all he wanted was me. Today the fucker sends me this.
'There's no easy way to say this, but all I can ask is that you read what I
have to say and not get upset. I really am sorry, but we can't meet up next
month.
I've been working flat out for the last few weeks and this is my first
chance to take even a few hours off. It's the busyiest time of year and the
plan for me to take a week off next month has not gone down well. If I do,
I won't get paid, at best.
Unfortunately, that's not the real problem. I've been back to the Doctor's
several times as my blood pressure is still very high. I'm on a strict diet
and have to avoid stressful situations. That's why I leave for work before
7am to avoid being caught up in rush hour traffic, and rarely get home
before 10pm, usually nearer midnight. That's actually better for me to be
tired than stressed. I have to return to the Doc's in 3 weeks for a further
blood pressure check, plus a blood test and ECG (I think that's a heart
scan?). During my discussions with the Doc, I told him about my last day in
the States and the panic attack or whatever it was that happened when we
were on the way to the station. I'm too scared for that to happen again and
I'm worried that if you came over here for a week, when you went again I'd
end up in the same condition.
On top of all this, we've had some devastating news at home (which I can't
go into) and at the moment my sister needs all the support she can and we're
all supposed to have some sort of councelling.
I really don't know what to say. If you still plan to come to England,
perhaps you could stay with Nat and still catch up with your art people.
I'm worried about you flying over here at the moment with the terror threat
at Heathrow. If you can't get your money back for your flight, I'll see
what I can do to help.
I know you must be thinking that I'm being a heartless bastard to you, but I
never intended to hurt you in any way. I can't expect you not to hate me
for this, but please try to understand my reasons. Maybe it will pass once
the Doctors have found out the cause of what the hell is keeping my blood
pressure high.
I'm sorry. Please don't reply straight away while you're still mad at me.'

I HATE HIM
but I love him.

edit edit: he loves his sister more than anyone else in the world, and if something really has happened, I would be thrown aside like nothing because he will never love anyone as much. and he has had problems with his blood pressure (but his heart didn't seem to bother him before) and he has a paraniod personality disorder that is untreated, but mostly harmless.

editeditohfuckit: the'art people' he was talking about were you
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 1:43, archived)
# what kind of help?
I'll help, best i can.

But i'm not doing that thing with the goat again

well, ok but only if you wash it first.
(I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 1:45, archived)
# I've never had a boyfriend...
...But I'll try to help out
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 24 Feb 2003, 1:47, archived)
# Hi KittyWaste
nice posts today..
..managed to solve my friend's browser problems by forgetting about Navigator and downloading Mozilla 1.0.
Rocks on the Win 95 486, at least better than t'other browsers, so now she can log into b3ta..
and I better watch my back!

..and gracielou, I'll give the most sensible answers I can, but I'm usually in the dogbox myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 1:52, archived)
# there were nice posts.
but none of them were mine.
I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on B3ta since i now have to lie a stupid amount to convince others why i only appear to be writing one line of code a day.

yay, for 486 b3ta goodness
(I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 1:55, archived)
# Quite
with my already astounding gift for procrastination, work is getting harder and harder to focus on!
That's why I have to pull a bunch of web pages pretty much out of my arse before Wednesday morning.

Shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:04, archived)
# I'm a guy. I know what guys like,
if that helps.
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 1:55, archived)
# that sir, is a blatant lie, you are a girl, a lovley girl
I've seen you in your lingeries and you're goergeous.
If you're a man then what have i been sleeping with all this tiOH MYG OD NOOOOOOOOO
(I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 1:57, archived)
# hang on, that makes no sense
unless i'm gay. but think i'm straight.
hmmmm
good job i'm bi
(I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 1:59, archived)
# Um,
all right then.
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:00, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:01, archived)
# That
is the most reassuring thing I've seen all day.
Woo.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:06, archived)
# My second favorite Everything Will be Alright picture ever!
The first being the now-lost-in-the-spazz version with David Hasselhoff. That's one of my all time favorite pics.

I made it into a winamp skin.
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:08, archived)
# my favourite was a hedgehog
that said "chin up, lad." except that it's so far back in the archives that it's almost certainly gone now
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:11, archived)
# But...
...doesn't he have his head in the clouds?
(I helped save b3ta! hazzamon I've nothing better to do, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 10:00, archived)
# the love doctor is IN
in m3ss3ng3r that is
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:02, archived)
# oh please
I've seen people waste threads to make fart noises
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:32, archived)
# that wasn't a criticism in any way
this issue clearly deserves a thread, I was just suggesting that m3ss3ng3r lends itself nicely to this kind of thing
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:36, archived)
# ignore my bitterness
there were only 3 people in m3ss3ng3r when I posted that
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:38, archived)
# None of us qualified therapists
but plenty of shoulders to cry on :) Sup babe?
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:05, archived)
# I'm a guy
and i just got out of a 2 year relationship, and i'm good at listening. those are my qualifications if you need someone to talk to
(I helped save b3ta! Or is it?, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:08, archived)
# Read that as "I'm a gay".
Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:12, archived)
# hmmmm
Difficult to say without knowing more background, but the fact he puts in something as weak as "I'm worried about you flying because of the terrorist threat" smells distinctly of bullshit. And famil news that he "can't go into"? You're supposed to be partners!

/interfering

*edit* oooh! I'm an "art person" wow!
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:37, archived)
# if it were about anyone other than his sis
I would doubt that part. but then they are both adults (him 32, her 28) and who needs to go into counselling with an adult sibling?

his terrorist fears reek of his paranoia.

anyone near Kent? I'd pay nicely to have someone "removed" right about now...
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:41, archived)
# my hitman services
are not limited by locations, but can be expensive.

I hope whatever happens you are still going to come and have drinkies with us! This international convention is important for the b3tan political landscape.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:44, archived)
# I can't
I would be miserable the entire time, knowing that he was just around the corner (compared to being 5300 miles away)
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:50, archived)
# Could be bullshit - the terrorist bit sounds like it
However havbing suffered fromt he carzy assed panic attack kinda stuff you do sometimes scramble for any excuse to get out of things that shouldnt be hard.

However you are supposed to be partners and honesty is important - im pissed on brandy that tastes like soap so ignore any and all of the message above.

EDIT - Most of all you have to talk to each other and find out what the problems are and find the way for both of you to be happy be happy.
(The Scone from U.N.C.L.E., Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:47, archived)
# mmmm perhaps you've hit the nail on the head
large quantities of alchol ARE the solutionto all the world's problems

(that is what you said, isn't it ; )
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:49, archived)
# ahh alcohol.....
the cause, and the solution, of all life's problems
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:53, archived)
# if i said anything other than the advocation of alcohol
then it would be foolish and ill researched - however if what i did say was drink all the soap flavoured greek brandy in the world then im some sort of crazy soapy greeky booze based genius.
(The Scone from U.N.C.L.E., Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:57, archived)
# i'm not sure
correct me if i'm wrong, but he sounds like he's got a lot of bad shit going on at the moment. that is to say, he still cares for you, but he's had to put you to the back of his mind (undoubtedly not without pain) in order to deal with it. if you love him, be patient. if you can't get your money back for the flight, arrange a b3ta pissup ;)
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:42, archived)
# It sounds rather sad
but I know, from the past, that having me there would make him feel better, not worse. If I can't see him I can't bear the thought of going to england at all right now. I'm looking at chaning my trip to march, regardless.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:47, archived)
# trust him
if i was he, i would want the time my girlfriend was visiting to be worry-free and workless. not to spend it all worrying and making her wait.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:59, archived)
# i know these times are difficult
the giraffe will look over you =)
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:03, archived)
# oh, and everyone in this country
has an untreated paranoid personality problem
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:06, archived)
# his is legitimate
I can't fucking stand it. must kill. Kill.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:33, archived)
# ta
for giraffielove
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:07, archived)
# ah, why stop at one b3ta pissup?
do a grand b3ta tour of the uk?
(I helped save b3ta! teflon, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:48, archived)
# oooh
if I only could
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:24, archived)
# sorry.
thats sad for you mate
the terrorist line does seem like classic bullshit though. sorry
(I helped save b3ta! king_dong loves the hairstyles of the stars of dallas, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:50, archived)
# fuckity-fucksocks.
that's really pretty harsh. i'm really sorry you've been thown into a situation like that - but then again, your boyfriend probably is too. (at least, i hope he is, and he's not, as supermoore says, shittin' you.)

it would be pretty hard on you to come over to the UK and not be able to see him - knowing you've gone that far for a holiday and be that near him and yet, ahem, so far.

but then it seems he's going to be scaredy and not see you, and it sounds like it could be hard to sway him.

It's not a nice question to have to ask youself, but if he's not going to let you see him this time around, when are you going to be able to see him?

hope you manage to work something out.. (and apologies if i'm being overly cynical)
(I helped save b3ta! teflon, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:45, archived)
# I should state at this point
that my analsis of other peoples relationship problems is coloured by my own experiance. If I were you (or anyone) I would ignore me and listen to Spacefish, I like his advice.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:51, archived)
# yes
maybe i should also point out that i've been single for quite some time.

why my friends turn to me for relationship advice remains a mystery...
(I helped save b3ta! teflon, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:53, archived)
# I hate him SO MUCH
I've gone through so much for him. God. I'm going to kill him.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:41, archived)
# This is probably
terribly unhelpful and inappropriate and everything, but I reckon he just sounds like a mentalist.

/also, I count four excuses...

trying
too
hard.
(I helped save b3ta! coco, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 2:56, archived)
# Yeah
that's my impression, though it may be unnecessarily harsh, not knowing the "man".
Forget the actual content, whining and pathetic though it is, and consider this:
why would he put it into an e-mail instead of ringing you up and talking about it?
E-mail just isn't the thing for important personal shit like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:17, archived)
# I find telephoning girls very stressful.
...
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:23, archived)
# seriously
he is such a fuckwad
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:27, archived)
# That's how it looks
..why not, keep this thread going over the next few days and send 'im a link once it's archived!

I'm probably a bit bitter to be sticking my oar in anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:34, archived)
# because he would cry
and I couldn't bear it.

I still want to kill him.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:39, archived)
# Heavy. Sorry, but I'm cack at things like this.
Although I do like being an art person so very much...
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Mon 24 Feb 2003, 3:03, archived)