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[challenge entry] How to confuse a daily mail reader


Fixed

From the The Daily Mail challenge. See all 248 entries (closed)

(thefwf, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 0:52, archived)
# replace their heads with tomato sauce?
cunning, i like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 0:53, archived)
# I'm not even getting involved in this one. ;)
Just wanted to say I started watching top gear and That little Fiat is fantastic.
My sister came up to visit not long ago as she was on the Ducati corse team who were supporting North West Ducati at the British Superbikes recently.
She turned up in a Fiat 500 Arbath. Turns out that was her company car for any Ducati events on the road in the UK this year ( Ducati are owned by Fiat ).
I had a little spin in the countryside here. It was amazing. No practical use whatsoever but huge fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:05, archived)
# it does look like fun.
it also looks like a small car that i could actually fit in to.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:07, archived)
# bags of fun
but still gave me the impression of a noddy car from the outside :)
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:09, archived)
# yes, a noddy car.
being 6'6" i yearn to own a small comedy car. i nearly bought a Reliant Kitten last year, but it needed a couple of windows.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:12, archived)
# in the roof?
for your head? ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:14, archived)
# not quite, but close
edit.... interestingly, the Kitten was designed by the same agency who designed Luke Skywalker's XP-34 Landspeeder.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:17, archived)
# loved your appearance in
The Simpsons ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:23, archived)
# eh?
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:25, archived)
#
simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Very_Tall_Man

I'm off back to Top Gear. It should be finished about the time James Bond is done.

night night all.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:26, archived)
# oh gotcha!
and goodnight
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:27, archived)
# my dad (6'4")
had something in the 60s that he couldn't quite fit in, so he took the seat out.

apparently the original Mini was the only small car he could fit into. he can't get into the new minis though cos there's too much shite in them
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:35, archived)
# my dad (6'4") had a mini pick-up
the last time i was in a mini, it rolled.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:42, archived)
# bloody hell, i'm jealous now!
it handles really well, too. does it get decent mileage?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:08, archived)
# I'm not sure Smash.
It's not going to be anything like the basic 500 and will depend upon how you thrash it. I only had 20 minutes in it and Sis only had it on the few days a year she's out with the Ducati Corse racing team.

If you want real jealous then she's going to Milan for Troy Bayliss' retirement party.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:13, archived)
# that goes waaay beyond jealous!
i'd happily swap a weekend at silverstone with a lamborghini diablo thrown in for that!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:16, archived)
# post a 465.61 kB .PNG?
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 0:55, archived)
# is it me, or does he have a
HUGE FUCKIN HAND

g'night x
(sarah90 >you, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 0:55, archived)
# I have a huge fucking hand you're quite welcome to it
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 13 Nov 2008, 0:56, archived)
# Kebab hasn't shagged that/him/her/it ... and isn't likely to.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:00, archived)
# :'(
I do consider this a great injustice.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:00, archived)
# :( Schnookums
:((((((
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:05, archived)
# how did you find out my nickname?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:06, archived)
# Google.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:06, archived)
# oh noes.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:11, archived)
# you talk in your sleep
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:09, archived)
# well that should be heard by no one.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:11, archived)
# you'd think that, wouldn't you?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:13, archived)
# must have to fill up a huge fucking image
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 0:56, archived)
# 465>100 kB please link or learn to optimise...
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 13 Nov 2008, 0:57, archived)
# Look what you've done. By having a go at him you've now wasted another 290k of my intermawebs!
INTERMAWEBS IS A NON RENEWABLE RESOURCE YOU KNOW!
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:04, archived)
# I REMEMBER WHEN I HAD KILOBYTES IN TUBES. I NOW HAVE NO KILOBYTES.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:06, archived)
# 291kb > 100kb
still a tad too large
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:04, archived)
# at least he's trying.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:06, archived)
# Oh noes! You posted an image that is larger than the arbitrary number in the FAQ.
It's the end of the intermawebs!
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 0:59, archived)
# im aware that it is arbitary,
www.b3ta.com/board/6644184

but this image needn't be larger than say 60kB
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:05, archived)
# The things with having a go at people are that;
1) They either just give in and fuck off.
2) Or they actually optimise the picture but posting the new one simply adds to the size of the first big one in your cache and you end up downloading more.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:09, archived)
# personally you end up downloading more, but other people don't
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:13, archived)
# And everyone else who was browsing here.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:16, archived)
# we end up getting more
but future generations are saved the pain.
The objective of the comments should be to ensure that the user becomes aware of what they have done wrong and ensures it does not happen in the future, really.
I don't mind big files usually. It's a genuine enough mistake due to not knowing anything about file data size and a quiet word can fix it for next time.
It's rarely done on purpose to annoy, apart from a few usual subjects.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:17, archived)
# poor guy
all over his bowl of bananas and everything
(outofkey "iaaaaan! your mum's on the phone!", Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:00, archived)
# GET DOWN, GET DOWN..
JUNGLE BOOGIE..
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:00, archived)
# Try using .jpg for photos.
.gif and .png are for block colour pictures usually.
(I helped save b3ta! We are the lemon irked your craw on, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:03, archived)
# Don't be a plastic vicar. He should use a .bmp.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:08, archived)
# .tiff FTW
DONT YOU KNOW ANYTHING TSATSER?
(I helped save b3ta! We are the lemon irked your craw on, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:12, archived)
# NO, YOU VELCRO-FACED SHIT-BREATHING DICK-URCHIN.
Lets never fight again.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:15, archived)
# FUCKING .PDF
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:23, archived)
# STOP MAKING ME CRY FIRE.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:37, archived)
# Physical size
was not the issue. Data size was so you should save it as an optimised JPG under 100kb. Failing that upload it to the b3ta uploader and have it do the clever bits for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:07, archived)
# Aha!
Were you at the Chris Addison gig the other week as well then? Nice one :D

xx
(Iris_Wildthyme is three sheets to the wind, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 21:58, archived)