b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Kitten Sports » Message 9601527

[challenge entry] Some say it's a sport, others say it's an art form - I'll let you decide


From the Kitten Sports challenge. See all 351 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 8:54, archived)
# Hahahahaha! he deserves a higher score than that!
ningles everyone! Wow, it's the second time this week that train delays haven't been blamed on signal problems... Today it was "a freight train was in the way".

On monday, if this trend continues, I'm waiting the driver to say over the tannoy "there's.... someone on the side of the train... some... thing..." in a Shantner-esque/TwilightZone way
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 8:59, archived)
# oh last week it was
Romulan Warbird decloaking near chipping Sodbury...pff British Rail eh....tuts a bit and shakes head vigorously !
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)
# i hope this happens
i got told that rain had caused my delays.....rain. ffs.
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)
# hahahah! I have had delays at the station because "they can't find the driver" - that was pretty stupid, but Rain?!?! bloody hell...
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:09, archived)
# c2c
why do they even bother telling you about the delay anyway. it's not like anything they'll say will make you any happier about the fact that they're making you late.

best excuse i've had was that the overhead power cable had been stolen... but this was around the Grays / Tilbury area in Essex so was to be expected really...
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Angryperson you'll never be the man your mother is, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)
# christ
the rail network's been going for over 100 years, and they still can't cope with the fact that it drizzles occasionally...
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:11, archived)
# Wrong sort of rain, mate.
You see, you've got your normal rain, right, that comes down all straight up 'n down like? You get me?

Then, there's the OTHER sort of rain, that comes at you all sideways like, you know like ZAP! POW! And where we'd be then, eh? In the fucking shit mate, that's where.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)
# Don't forget about that fine rain
That stuff grinds the whole rail infrastructure to a halt
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:34, archived)
# Oh, bloody hell, FINE rain, that stuff's the WORST...
Hmmm. Maybe I should get a job on the railways.

Although I saw this fat lawyer guy arguing with one of the platform guys (attendants? guards?) as to why the train left without him (he basically just missed it) the conversation went:

Fat lawyer : "You dispatch the train!"
Platform guy : "The driver closes the doors, sir"
Fat lawyer : "But, you dispatch the train!" (&ct.)
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)
# Did the lawyer not say "OBJECTION!"?
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:42, archived)
# Ha! No, but I did see a girl at the same station (Cambridge) saying "Well, you can't PROVE that we didn't buy tickets..."
*sigh* I would have replied "Studying law are we, Madam?"
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)
# Haha, classic
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:49, archived)
# hahahahah!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:54, archived)
# Bloody students
:D
(I helped save b3ta! mr ginglymus has something in his pance, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:55, archived)
# always the best kind
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:58, archived)
# Rail LIES!!!!
The phrase 'signalling problems' is a generic catch all term for a multitude of problems that they don't feel we are worthy enough to know about.

FACT

Nings steve!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)
# Normally when a train derails or the driver is chewing an orange.
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:42, archived)
# They should just change it to "Trainy problems" or just "stuff".
"Ladies and Gentlemen, due to stuff the 8:15 to Chipping Sodsbury has been delayed by 5 minutes"
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:43, archived)
# Or we should get more strict with the rail operators like in Japan
Then people might want to use the rail services, the packed carriage gropings might not go down too well though
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)
# nings joe! I just wish they would put a bit more effort into the excuses...
as we all know "signal failure" is a lie, why not go all out and say "a large red dragon has decided to make the track just outside Harrow and Wealdstone it's nesting ground, and Network Rail Knights have been dispatched to deal with the issue"
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:51, archived)
# Haha, they could even show clips from Reign of Fire on the TV screens to show them fighting the dragons
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:54, archived)
# Hahaaa. This would be fantastic. I like the idea of Network Rail Knights. Get Terry Gilliam on the case :)
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:13, archived)
# bingo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so sayeth robert zimmerman
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)
# when
exactly did he say that? I don't remember ever seeing him down the Mecca
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)
# He was wearing an extravagant moustache, and a trilby, as a disguise.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)
# I doubt that's true
moustache glue would soon melt away in the pure adrenaline rush and sweat of the bingo world
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)
# There is such a thing as specialist bingo moustache glue, you know.
(Actually, that is a lie)
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:41, archived)
# you say lie
I say...new marketing opportunity :)
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:50, archived)
# If Sue Barker commentates
It's a sport
(I helped save b3ta! mr ginglymus has something in his pance, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:32, archived)
# oh...that's a handy guideline
thanks a lot :)

although Barker might not go down too well at the kittun Olympics ;(
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)
# So shagging Cliff is a sport then?
ace
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:48, archived)
# yes...but shagging A cliff
remains an artform ;)
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:52, archived)
# oh god do you think she really commentates while doing it?
*shudders*
(I helped save b3ta! Hol[]y - WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:56, archived)
# I hope so...
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:58, archived)
# you wouldn't like it
i had sex once when the racing was on in the background...most off putting

don't recall the bloke's name, but remember clearly that "top Banana" came in at 5 -1 :)
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:03, archived)
# Handicap?
(Bluntphilly trying to loose wait, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:06, archived)
# i think he was a bit pissed
;(
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:22, archived)
# 0_0
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:05, archived)
# oh, dont be so coy
you know you would
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)
# Do I have to?
:(
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)
[challenge entry] On that note...


Sue Meower? Terrible 'shop...
(I helped save b3ta! mr ginglymus has something in his pance, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:12, archived)
# the shop is secondary to it being in context
have a biscuit for your trouble :)
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:26, archived)
# *pounces*
(I helped save b3ta! mr ginglymus has something in his pance, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:28, archived)
# 'nings all
have a fairly disturbing tattoo to start your day
izismile.com/img/img2/20090724/selection_205_71.jpg
(disturbing for possible racism mixed with stupidity)
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)
# hahahaha
Nazilols FTW :)
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)
# That's weird. And worrying.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:46, archived)
# good mroing! nice swastikekekekekekeke :)
what a mong :)
(I helped save b3ta! Hol[]y - WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:48, archived)
# hahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:48, archived)
# Blimey... that's just a bit creepy and odd....
nings HT
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:53, archived)
# i now want:
1 - a kitten in a wig
2 - fried chicken
dammit :)
(I helped save b3ta! Hol[]y - WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:48, archived)
# have you learned nothing from the picture
THE TWO DO NOT MIX!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:53, archived)
# gah!
*dichotomies*
(I helped save b3ta! Hol[]y - WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:57, archived)
# choose kitun
chikin brings only a fleeting pleasure
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 10:05, archived)