Cunning disguise
For sport about 3 years ago, I was forced with a number of my fellow lazy people to run round St James Park. It wasn't that we were particularly unfit (we were only quite unfit), it was pure laziness that made us not want to.

So we just run round until we're out of sight of the teacher on the corner (who by now may well have slipped off for a crafty fag anyway), then just walk straight through the middle of the park - round a lovely scenic little lake at a leisurely pace, then a bit of running and rubbing water on foreheads to convince him we've been running.

Trouble was, he got lucky and saw us going across the park. So he moved to where he could see right through the middle of the park, and therefore see whether we were cheating at all. Well that was crap so we came up with a cunning plan:

(Mission Impossible music)

We had to think of a way to get round unseen, or we would actually be forced to run. Properly. So disguises were the best option. I stuffed a hat and a plastic bag under my sweatshirt, and have a T-shirt on under it as well. I got behind a bush and emerged, Superman-like, with a hat, no glasses and no sweatshirt, and carrying a bag (with glasses and sweatshirt inside). We then left the bushes one by one so as not to arouse suspicion. Joining on to groups and lone women (to confuse someone looking for lone boys, lone women must have found it weird), we walked straight through the middle to freedom. Top tip: change your gait when trying not to be recognised. It totally works.

We continued cheating in dsguise for months. It was fookin' brilliant.

Apologies for length. And also for the length of my huge penis.
(Radio Free iPods "Fickt nicht mit dem Raketenmensch!", Mon 21 Nov 2005, 18:41, Reply)