Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
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chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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I wanted to be a catNow bear with me, this isn't as stupid as it sounds. If I could paint a picture of a typical school day of mine it would be running up the road in the pouring rain with my school bag & (immaculately cleaned) rugby kit to catch a bus full of chavs to get to school (full of chavs) to spend another day at the thin end of the Comprehensive school wedge surrounded by chavs who want to hurt & humiliate me...that would be it.
Every morning as I contemplated the coming days misery, I would see my cat stretched out in front of the fire, she would look at me through half closed eyes, and you just knew that she understood that she had the better deal in life.
And that's why I wanted to be a cat, although I always knew that a life of such uncomplicated lazyness would never be mine.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 15:12,
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