Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
(
chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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No ! Not the Bore Worms!I remember wanting to be all sorts of things. I wanted to be the incredible hulk but red not green and with better hair.
Then I wanted to be a stunt man and knew that the only way to acheive this goal was to invite all the lads from the class above me to punch my heroicly tensed stomach and marvel at my nonchalant non wincing face. This resulted in me weeing blood and my parents being asked to explain the beatings. ( I hasten to add that I in adult life I do not have masochistic tendencies!)
Later, riding the cusp of pre-puberty, I really wanted to be the 'bore worms'. Had no idea what they were but apparently they got to do incredibly rude and nasty things to princes aura from the flash gordon film. mmmm princess aura.
After that I didn't really want to do anything in particular but was convinced that if I just bummed about being me, and therefore 'great', that eventually someone would go "hey that guys great, let's make him famous and give him lots of money for no reason! Wooo"
This did not actually happen though and I had to do work instead. What did I do wrong I ask you?!?!
(, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 16:26, Reply)
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