ALWAYS negotiate up front! (aka - Never trust your parents)
I must have been about 10 or 11.

And my Mother had been chatting to the half-mad old lady up the road (as you do) - and returned home with a proposition for me...Apparently the council had been round half-mad lady's place and told her she had to clear her - rather massive - block of land of lantana ASAP - or they were going to fine her.

So my Mum had volunteered my services to half-mad lady in removing said lantana...And that half-mad lady would pay me for my help. Now figuring that my Mum - being my Mum and looking out for her only son - would have negotiated me some kind of good deal here - and figuring that as I currently mowed the neighbour's lawn every couple of weeks for 5 bucks - that this would be worth a GOOD 10 to 20!...Serious wodgah for a 10 year old in them days!

So off I went...About half a day later I emerged from the wilds - Just about every exposed bit of skin bleeding profusely from lantana scratches. To knock on half-mad lady's back door for my due reward.

Which turned out to be two dollars. TWO DOLLARS!...And a decrepit old toffee-apple that looked like it had been out of the fridge for at least a month.

Throwing the toffee apple away, I returned home in indignant tears, displaying bloody hands and bits - only for my Mother to take pity (Yeah - Feel bloody GUILTY more like!!) and give me 5 more dollars.

To this very day I fucking hate lantana with a fucking passion.

Got half-mad lady back though - Pals and I forevermore went out of our way to pinch mangoes and mandarins from her trees - even when we didn't really want any...and would regularly rattle her front gates and bolt - causing her half-mad dog to go off its half-mad 'nana, and her to have to come out to calm it down & see what all the fuss was about. But we were always long gone.

Sorry - it's rather long. Oo-er. *Insert other penis joke here*
(Ecky Thump Mozzarella you eh?!, Fri 17 Feb 2006, 14:27, Reply)